(L-R: Rachel Weisz, Renee Zellweger and Mila Kunis)
Opening Everywhere: Oz the Great and Powerful, Dead Man Down
FilmDrunk Suggests: This is a really, really low time for movies, as I’ve scrolled the box office list of movies currently in theaters several times today and am hardly interested in any of these films. Even worse, I have three 2-for-1 Groupon vouchers to use at my local theater and aside from Dead Man Down, I’ve got nothing to watch. Nothing, damn it!
I think the prospect of a third Hangover sounds awful to most people, but… are they literally going to blow up Vegas in this one? Dammit, poster, this has me intrigued. And with the flaming cityscape in the background, all it would take is a new subtitle and Steven Seagal standing in the foreground with a katana to make this a perfect Steven Seagal poster. The Hangover 3: On Deadly Vengeance, starring Steven Seagal as Lt. Sergei Hangover.
This week in posters is back, and just in time for some new Spring Breakers posters. I’ll be honest, I’m struggling to say anything about this besides Ashley Benson’s name while I bit my knuckle, but instead I’ll simply say that a teeny-bopper movie with a bunch of Disney Channel queens from notorious dicknosers Harmony Korine and James Franco is something I’d pay at least double the price of admission for. I’m dying to know what glorious dicknose is in store for us with this one.
Also, these chicks are all like 18 to 22, aren’t they? Do we really need all the airbrushing? Cut it out with the filters, I want to see every dimple. Uh, I mean… airbrushing is a sexist tool of the patriarchy that promotes an unhealthy body image among impressionable young girls. (Phew, good save, Mancini, good save).
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