I wish Hollywood could combine all these zombie projects into one film, it’d make not giving a sh-t about them so much easier.  Anyway, the first pictures are up from Zombieland, a zombie buddy-comedy starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg.  How’s this different from Shaun of the Dead or Jay and Seth vs. the Apocalypse you ask? Um… Woody Harrelson?

Elsewhere, Watchmen screenwriter David Hayter has signed on to write Deadworld based on (of course) a comic book.

“Deadworld” veers from the popular zombie mythology of depicting an apocalypse in which humans are overrun by flesh-eating corpses. “Deadworld” picks up four months after that event, where the Dead overtake the Earth, with humans few and far between. Protag is King Zombie, a Harley-riding corpse who holds a grudge against the survivors who made him an outcast. [Variety]

Oh, Hollywood.  Take an old concept, add a motorcycle or some sunglasses and ta da, it’s new again. Oh jeez, he wears a leather jacket?  The kids are gonna go nuts for this.

First things first: I didn’t read the graphic novel, and though I have a vague idea what’s in it, if you’re looking an outline of all the differences between the book and the movie or how faithful the film is to the book, look elsewhere.  And anyway, it’s a movie, it’s not your boyfriend.  Queer.

Now then: the ending sucks, it’s a little too long, and by the end the story’s loose ends dangle like retarded squid tentacles (rather than being all tied up in a pretty, glitter-covered package like the strippers in my basement).  But Watchmen is a SUCCESS. It’s worth watching and re-watching despite its flaws, on the strength of the fictional universe it creates, the chances it’s willing to take, and the random people it’s willing to kill in gruesome and hilarious ways.  The film has balls.  And though it pains me to say it, Zack Snyder just might be the visionary they’ve made him out to be.

Watchmen takes place in an alternate 1985, a world in which superheroes are real and Nixon is still president (because the superheroes helped him win Vietnam, you see).  Meanwhile, these events have exacerbated the Cold War, and the world is on the brink of nuclear apocalypse.  It can’t be overstated, the setting is the star of the film.  Probably 99% of the time, what you get in movies is a cinematic universe that’s either wholly fictional, or a world that’s more or less the same as the real one.  Watchmen treads a middle line, which is different and compelling in and of itself, and for the most part it manages to get the best of worlds.  It feels familiar and the history is relevant, but it’s still an escapist fantasy in which anything can happen, and it’s okay that part of you was amused when that pregnant chick got shot (maybe? not even a little?).

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Apparently the deal between Fox and WB over Watchmen didn’t include a no-shit-talking clause, or if it did, Watchmen screenwriter David Hayter didn’t get the memo.  Because during a Watchmen press day in L.A. yesterday, he pretty much served Fox while stomping their yard.

“I had worked for 20th Century Fox before, and I was fully under the belief that they had the potential to shut down the movie and remake it themselves out of pure spite and meanness. They’re a rough group of people … and somewhat ethically challenged.”

Ethically challenged? Don’t mince words, man.  Those people are jerks.  Meanies and jerks and jerkfaced meanies.

“… My experience told me that they could shut down this movie, and lock it away in Rupert’s vault … and make it the most unseen desired cult movie of all time … but I was extremely concerned. Many producer friends of mine said the same thing as Alex – that they’re just going for money or whatever — but I was like, ‘Yeah, okay, but there’s something beyond money going on at that studio and it has to do with … Satan.” [HollywoodOutbreak]

You can hear the full audio here, but sadly, he didn’t say that last part like Church Lady.  Also, just a sidenote here, but if I were Rupert Murdoch I would definitely try to use the phrase “Rupert’s Vault.”  Most likely as I patted my wife knowingly on the vagina.