After the jump, you can watch the first trailer for A Dangerous Method, David Cronenberg’s latest (and first since Eastern Promises in 2007), starring Viggo Mortensen as Sigmund Freud, Michael F. Assbender as Carl Jung, and Keira Knightley as some crazy slut Jung’s banging. It has far less Freud snorting tons of coke and screaming about his penis than I hoped for (HISTORICALLY ACCURATE!), but… well, there’s no happy ending for that sentence. I was disappointed.

Starring Viggo Mortensen, Michael Fassbender, Keira Knightley, Vincent Cassel and Sarah Gadon and based on the play by Christopher Hampton, the film centers on the conflict between Sigmund Freud (Mortensen) and his pupil Dr. Jung (Fassbender). Seduced by the challenge of an impossible case, the driven Dr. Jung takes the unbalanced yet beautiful Sabina Spielrein (Knightley) as his patient. Jung’s weapon is the method of his master and both men fall under Sabina’s spell.

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I’m usually not a fan of sequels, but given Eastern Promise‘s twist ending*^(spoiler) and the fact that it kinda stopped in the middle of the second act, it might be kind of cool.  Deadline reports that Viggo Mortensen and director David Cronenberg are both set to return for the sequel, but only after they work together on the Talking Cure, about Sigmund Freud.

Knowing that all movies are in 3D now, this can mean only one thing.  That’s right, a naked, 25-minute, Viggo-Mortensen-wiener-flopping knife fight scene in 3D.  I. Can’t.  Wait.  I won’t even have to do the wiener-in-the-popcorn-box trick, because the popcorn will already be full of Viggo Mortensen’s wiener, thanks to the 3D technology.

*At the end, we learn Viggo is actually a spy working under license from the British Government to infiltrate the Russian mafia, just like I did last summer between ballet camps.

(Jeff Goldblum: not very popular with craft service)

In 1986, David Cronenberg directed The Fly, the heartwarming true story of how Geena Davis got impregnated by an insect-man.  23 years later, Cronenberg is in talks with Fox to possibly write and direct the reboot of his own movie.

The move marks an about-face for the Canadian director, who in the past has said he did not want to be involved on a remake of the film. Cronenberg did work on an opera version of “The Fly” that was staged first in Paris and then in Los Angeles.

The 1986 title, itself a remake of Kurt Neumann’s 1958 sci-fi classic, starred Jeff Goldblum and became a huge hit for Fox, earning $40 million and turning into a phenomenon. It centered on Seth Brundle (Goldblum), an eccentric scientist who, after an experiment with teleportation goes awry, is transformed into a fly. Geena Davis starred as Goldblum’s love interest and partner, Veronica. [THR]

My favorite part of the original was when Jeff Goldblum first starts turning into a fly, and they illustrate this by him going to a bar, breaking some dude’s arm in an arm wrestling match, and picking up a slut.  See, that’s why David Cronenberg is a visionary.  Most people would think, “Okay, he’s turning into a fly… so that means he starts growing wings, maybe he hangs around the garbage dump, suddenly he wants to smell everyone’s sh’t?”  Not Cronenberg.  Cronenberg said “Duh, he’s a fly.  Obviously he’s gonna get drunk and arm wrestle and pick up sluts.”

This is the trailer for William S. Burroughs: A Man Within (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID LOL), a documentary about you guessed it, Einstein P. Smartbrain, William S. Burroughs. It features appearances by David Cronenberg, Peter Weller (who’ll surely have important things to say about Burroughs’ contribution to the literary canon because he played Robocop), Iggy Pop, Gus Van Sant, Jello Biafra, and everyone’s favorite, Genesis P-Orridge. (I don’t even know, dude, just keep walking and try to avoid eye contact). Anyway, it’s a good thing William Burroughs shot his wife and was into guns and gay sex and gay sex with guns, because otherwise all they’d have to talk about is that f-ing unreadable heroin ramble of a book he wrote.

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At the end of Eastern Promises (SPOILER ALERT), we find out Viggo Mortensen’s character is really an undercover British agent.  Between the open ending and the fact that Watchmen and Forgetting Sarah Marshall exposed America’s appetite for full-frontal male nudity (dudity), the time is ripe for a sequel.

“We are moving forward with it,” Cronenberg told MTV News in an exclusive chat. “We all are excited about the idea of doing a sequel.”

The “we” includes Mortensen, who was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his role as Nikolai; the film’s screenwriter, Steven Knight; original producer Paul Webster; and original studio, Focus Features.

“We are going to have a meeting very soon between me, Steve Knight and Paul Webster to discuss what the script would be,” Cronenberg said “If all goes well, Steve goes away and writes a great script. If we all like it, we make it.”

I’m a Cronenberg fan, but Eastern Promises was far from his best work.  In this day and age, there’s just no excuse for poorly choreographed fight scenes.  I know a thing or two about naked fights to the death in a Russian bath and I demand realism dammit.