His soulful eyes will follow you around the room.  Especially if you are looking at this on a smartphone or tablet.

The Dark Knight Rises is out today on DVD and Blu-ray and nothing else matters. Still, I know most (all?) of you have seen it and might want to know what else has come out today, so I’m back, providing you with all you need to know when you ultimately decide to just watch Batman again anyway.  Other flicks you won’t actually be watching this week include new films from Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, Hugh Jackman, and two films with Jennifer Garner.  We’ve got movies that will make you laugh (if Meryl Streep trying to fellate a banana is funny to you), movies that will make you cry (if you are a little kid) and Beasts Of The Southern Wild, a critical-darling  that Vince wasn’t very fond of.  There are films about butter and psycho Santas and professional athletes who believe in magic.  There’s super elves, some spooky VHS tapes, and even a Christmas movie with a talking dog!

The DVDs:
The Dark Knight Rises
Hope Springs
Butter
The Odd Life Of Timothy Green
Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Silent Night
Thunderstruck
Elf-Man
V/H/S
Hemingway
Alps
Last Ounce Of Courage
Reel Evil
12/12/12
A Vampire’s Tale
The Magic Of Christmas II

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

One of these flicks stars a dude from Jackass as a superhero.  The only way to find out which one it is is to continue reading. Another one of these movies has vampires in it.  You might assume it’s A Vampire’s Tale, but you can’t be sure unless you continue reading.  If you want to know which film makes little kids cry -you guessed it, continue reading.  If you want to make me cry, just skip all the DVDs and go right to the Netflix streaming suggestions.  There’s a link right above this paragraph, if that’s how you want to handle things.  For my money (literally), you’d be much better off just clicking the ‘Continue Reading’ link that’s just below this paragraph.  You’d get to the streaming suggestions eventually, and there’s no reason to rush.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Sometimes, when I get nervous, I put my fingers into my armpits like this, and then I smell 'em like this...."

I thought I was done with the Dark Knight Rises stuff this morning, and that was fine by me, because discussing the miniscule tidbits of a movie that doesn’t come out until next July kind of bores me to tears, but apparently there’s more. ComingSoon has the extra-special “subscribers-only” pictures, and some steamy hot plot-nuggets to pinch into your eager mouths (yes, grandma, that was scat porn imagery). I wouldn’t consider this a “spoiler” so much as boring hype, but I’ll put it after the jump just in case.

Read the rest of this entry »

Empire Magazine has two covers for its latest issue featuring Christian Bale as Batman and Tom Hardy as Bane from The Dark Knight Rises, which opens in July. They’re calling this “The Ultimate Exclusive!”, and it must be very exciting for people who don’t have the internet. I still think Bane’s mask thingie looks like an elaborate ball gag. I can’t be the only person who looks at that and thinks of hardcore gay sex.

[Empire]

On the following pages, I’ve got some new pictures of Anne Hathaway in costume as Catwoman from the set of The Dark Knight Rises. Since I know how sensitive many of you are to spoilers, the first page only shows my fan-art recreation of the costume. Sorry to anyone I fooled you into thinking this was an official publicity still. It isn’t. It’s just a drawing. That’s supposed to be her litter box in the background on the bottom right.

Read the rest of this entry »

Look, I don’t really get set videos. I realize that the Dark Knight Rises is filming (in Pittsburgh, the most glamorous city in the world), and I’m perfectly content to wait until the next trailer comes out to see the footage. That said, there’s a billion videos from the set that hit over the weekend, and the internet seems to love these. And I am but a humble public servant, who makes money on web traffic. The videos are below. There’s a chance they might spoil something, I don’t know (let’s just say “batwings” may be more than just a derogatory term for large labia minora). If you want to watch them, go ahead. But with this many videos of something, at a certain point, you’re just documenting reality. I’ll wait until someone whittles this into a story about hot guys in tights punching each other, thank you very much.

Read the rest of this entry »