It didn’t seem to bode well for the movie, when in the first trailer for Your Highness, the centerpiece joke was a guy falling down.  The red-band trailer was a huge improvement, but even in that, Natalie Portman’s butt sort of stole the show.  You can hardly blame them, she’s an Oscar winner.  If I made a movie with Meryl Streep’s bush in it, it wouldn’t matter what it was about, Meryl Streep’s bush would be the selling point.  Maybe even the name of my first born.  In any case, early word is that Your Highness does indeed have stuff besides Natalie Portman’s butt in it, and 85% of that stuff is cow boners.   As Danny McBride recently told Opie and Anthony:

“We have a minotaur hard-on in the film.  …And it’s full hard.  There is a rape scene with a minotaur and a man.  You see the minotaur… get his sh*t going.  You apparently can’t show a male hard-on, but since this was a minotaur, we said it was the bull which was getting turned on.  Because the bull is the bottom half.  You can get away with that if it’s creature hard-ons.”

I’ve admitted this before, but one of my ultimate guilty pleasure movies is Freddy Got Fingered, which probably has a lot to do with seeing it when I was really high.  And of course the signature scene in that film is Tom Green holding up an erect horse penis shouting, “Daddy, I’m a farmer!”  I guess what I’m trying to say is that if your film has big erect farm animal penises, my only question is where to buy popcorn.  Wow, you can practically hear my graduate school professors beaming with pride right now.

[thanks to Robopanda for the tip]

MSN has debuted the new red-band trailer for Your Highness (watch it after the jump), starring Danny McBride, Zooey Deschanel, James Franco, and Natalie Portman’s butt.  You’ll definitely want to watch the red-band version, because in the regular, green-band version, Natalie Portman’s medieval thong (see links at left) has been altered, nay, CENSORED, too look like this:

(*cleans monocle, does spit take*) Whaaa? Did they shoot this scene twice with two different bikinis?  Was she digitally de-thonged? If so, how’d they’d decide who got the job of post-production full-butt bikini supervisor?  And if they shot it twice, was there a sexy costume designer around to supervise during the wardrobe change?  I mean, someone would have to monitor it, for continuity, right?  The point is, I’m intrigued.  And now, farbeit from me to diss Natalie Portman’s butt, because, as a blogger, Natalie Portman’s butt puts food in my mouth, but… well, it could be meatier.  I’m just sayin.

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In yet more new movie trailer news, IGN has debuted the red-band trailer for Your Highness, the medieval stoner epic from David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, and Ben Best (basically the creative team from Eastbound and Down).  It stars James Franco and Natalie Portman, whose graduation from earnest-but-slightly-pretentious smartypants who cares about important world issues to just-because-I-care-about-world-issues-doesn’t mean I can’t act like one of the guys continues.  I’d suggest enjoying this phase as much as we can before the eventual transition to “suburban yuppie.”  Trust me, man, I know these college chicks.

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The Black List is a list of Hollywood’s best unproduced scripts as voted on by executives.  The projects are interesting not because most executives aren’t complete idiots, but because projects tend to be better when they start with an actual script, instead of some half-assed pitch like, “Hey, what about guinea-pig secret agents?”  Anyway, here’s an update on two:

Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer signed on to direct 30 Minutes or Less, a script by Matthew Sullivan and Michael Diliberti.  I wasn’t a huge fan of Zombieland, but I thought the visual style was very cool, and I was hoping his next project wouldn’t be stock characters in a stock premise again.  Now THR reports that Aziz Ansari in a story that… “revolves around a junior high history teacher (Ansari) and a pizza-delivery man who are forced to rob a bank when one of them is strapped to a bomb vest.”  ThePlaylist has more details on the plot, though they warn it’s “spoilery”.  Meanwhile, Danny McBride is in talks to co-star as Ansari’s straitlaced University classics professor.  Ha, just kidding, he’ll play a “white trash goon.”  In honor of that, here’s a Tweet from KF*ckingP: “Doing free pap smears today on Miami Beach to raise money for Haiti. Let’s get our troops home!”  There’s so much right with that.

Rob Corddry will sculpt your butter for Obama.  In Butter, a script by Jason Micalleff ,Rob Corddry will stir Jim Carrey’s vanilla, stepping into a role he turned down, of a former butter-sculpting champion whose wife (Jennifer Garner) is the heir apparent to win this year’s title, only to be thwarted by a young black girl.  The whole thing is said to be a satire of the 2008 Iowa democratic caucus (the black girl is Obama, Jennifer Garner is Hillary).  Box-office toilet poison Kate Hudson is also signed to star, presumably as a stand in for Sarah Palin, the chick that ruins everything for everyone.  [via LATimesblog]

If you’ve been going through Danny McBride withdrawals for these last three weeks that he hasn’t been in a movie, you’re in luck, because now Kf-ckingP is set to star in The Chadster.  So kiss my ass and suck my dic– *please turn over to side two*

[from Pajiba]  The Chadster at one time had The Hangover’s Todd Phillips attached to both produce and direct. Phillips has fallen off as director, but he’s still producing the comedy, which is moving ahead with [Eastbound & Down writer Shawn] Harwell as scribe.
The studio wedding comedy, set up at Warner Brothers and produced by Phillips’ Green Hat Films, is about a best man who has his position threatened when an eccentric, long-lost childhood friend shows up at the wedding and causes trouble.
Danny McBride is currently attached to play the eccentric childhood friend.

Like my headline, I think Kenny Powers: Wedding Crasher is the guiding premise.  With Todd Phillips directing, that’d probably be awesome.  With someone else… who knows.  It’s like Judd Apatow: when he directs, you get stuff like Knocked Up.  When he only produces, you might get Superbad, you might get Drillbit Taylor.  Either way, for Kenny Powers’ buddy, I think they should hire this guy:

(thanks to BDarbs for the tip)