Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t been out of office a year yet, and already he’s done

You’ll recall we were the first to report – in January, several weeks before another outlet got wind of the news – that a new Arnold Schwarzenegger-led Justin Lin-directed Terminator was in the works (though, to be fair, we were skeptical). Well that same source tells us today that Terminator mightn’t be the only other sequel Schwarzenegger has been offered.

Here’s the word :

“A Twins sequel. Knowing Arnold, Danny De Vito and Ivan Reitman are all still in touch and want to work together again, Universal came to them about it. It’s a germ of an idea that could spread fast.” [WhatsPlaying.au]

The fact that someone would offer this to them isn’t surprising. Whether anyone’s interested or can actually make it happen is another story.  In any case, it’s hard not to be intrigued by the idea of seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito onscreen together, regardless of the context.  Go ahead, pretend you wouldn’t watch this. Guess what?  You’re a f*cking liar. Besides, Twins is a nice time capsule.  You can tell everyone was doing a ton of cocaine in 1988, because only in a room full of cokeheads could you blurt out a throwaway half idea like “What if Arnold Schwarzenegger… and Danny DeVito… were TWINS?!?”  And before you know it, have a script, Twins hats, Twins mugs, Twins Super Bowl commercials, and Dodge as the official vehicle of Twins.  All because one guy is tall and buff and the other is short and fat.

I guess what I’m saying is, every stoner with a weird idea needs a cokehead buddy to make sure he executes it.  Much like bookish intellectual Arnold who grew up in the South Pacific had a street-smart brother whose skills as a con artist made them the perfect team.

Here’s Danny DeVito playing Ghandi in an Inside the Actors Studio-parody Funny or Die video directed by Pulitzer-winning writer/director/playwright David Mamet.  You know, in case you were wondering what that might be like.  It’s hard to say why David Mamet is doing Funny or Die parodies now, but in David Mamet’s hands, it’s less a straight parody than a meditation on the recent rise in sequels and remakes (in the form of Danny DeVito talking about a fictional remake of a famous Ben Kingsley role, obviously).  I wouldn’t call it traditionally funny (I smiled a few times) but it’s definitely David Mamety.  This wins the David Mamet-memorial Oscar for David Mametiness.

[hat tip: Examiner]

Word to your mothers, FilmDrunkards, it’s Comments of the Week time again.  I’m doing things a little differently this week because I have a bunch of Comic-Con swag to give away.  Basically, I’m going to lay out what I have, then tell you a few people who I think were deserving, and those people can email me what they want/what shirt would fit them.  First, the deserving ‘Drunkards:

From the Zac Efron to play a Marine thread:

Stone Soup says: I’ve seen Zac’s wardrobe for the infantry scenes. It consists of tight camouflage shorts and a lime green shirt that says “PLEASE ask”.

Bubb Rubb says:
**Tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-* Brrat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-**
Efron!! Stop f*cking dancing and lay down some covering fire!!!

Donkey Hodey says:
*waves with two hands*
Semper HI!

Semper Hi.  Genius.  The Rihanna cast in Battleship thread was similarly full of win:

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Once upon a time, “Crazy Eddie” Antar was your basic borderline psychotic consumer electronics salesman who insisted on being in his own commercials (I’ve included one below).  His empire eventually grew to 43 stores and he even took his company public, becoming a brief “Wall Street sensation.” But then, *cue Behind the Music music*…

“He’d been skimming money and falsifying inventory to inflate stock value. Losing control of his company in a hostile takeover, Antar went on the lam after the new owners uncovered his financial shenanigans and the SEC charged him with stock fraud. He fled to Israel — where he’d deposited millions of dollars — only to be extradited three years later. He ultimately served a prison term that ended in 1999 and was ordered to pay $150 million in fines.”  [Variety via /Film]

And now Danny DeVito is directing a movie about his life.  From a script by 21‘s Peter Steinfeld.  Wait, what?  Peter Steinfeld who’s also written Be Cool and Analyze That? I realize it’s pretty easy for a studio and/or director to ruin a script, but even for cheesy Hollywood crap this guy’s movies seemed especially shittily written.  How do they decide this stuff, do they just play pin the tail on the hack?
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Here's the poster for The Good Night, directed by Jake Paltrow, in which a bunch of famous people wear those eye cover thingies that only people in movies wear.  They're basically props that say "LOOK, MY CHARACTER IS SLEEPING NOW."  It's retarded. It's like strapping a steak to your mouth so the audience knows you're eating.  

Also, Jake Paltrow?  Every pretentious A-hole with a video camera wants to be a movie director, and yet Hollywood keeps trying to sell us the idea that the only people good enough to get a picture deal just happen to be related to everyone else in Hollywood.  

Their movies will continue to suck if they keep letting peoples' kids direct movies.  When are they going to learn that kids can't do anything right?  They can't drive cars, they can't poach eggs right, and they sure as hell don't know how to operate a lathe.  All they ever seem to do is whine for food and tell me how much they hate the "stop hitting yourself" game.  Screw them, that game's awesome.