Earlier today I sort of pissed and moaned about all the boring biopics Hollywood makes, but I don’t really include Spielberg’s upcoming Lincoln in that complaint, if only because MOTHERF*CKING TOP HATS ARE THE MOTHERF*CKING SH*T, SON. Anyway, thanks to the Richmond Times-Dispatch, we have this latest shot of Daniel Day-Lewis going full top hat with Señor Spielbergo. If I had to guess how it went down, I bet the incorrigible method actor Day-Lewis was in the middle of some big speech, like, “I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering…”

And Spielberg was like, “Hey, Rail-Splitter, could you just put in your goddamned lunch order already? The crew’s starving.”

That’s not an extra on Spielberg’s right, by the way, he has a special assistant who bayonets poor people any time they get too close.

Steven Spielberg is busy shooting Lincoln in Virginia, and while I thought the guy from Bill and Ted made an excellent Abraham Lincoln, I guess Oscar-winning  super actor Daniel Day-Lewis is an okay choice too. In the mid 90s, Lewis trained with boxing champ Barry McGuigan twice a day, seven days a week for three years before starring in The Boxer. For The Crucible, he built his character’s house himself using 17th century tools. While it’s highly likely that he’s completely batsh*t insane, you can’t say his process isn’t effective (Bill the Butcher tapping a knife against his metal eye melts my face off every time, as do half the scenes in There Will Be Blood). So, how method is he going with this one? (Also, dude. You know this character eventually gets shot in the head, right?)

Variety‘s Jeff Sneider recently revealed that Day-Lewis “hasn’t broken his Lincoln accent since March” and his “real name doesn’t even appear on the call sheet.” I’ve heard from other sources that it is indeed the high-pitched tone Lincoln is infamous for. [TheFilmStage]

That must be fun to live with. Meanwhile, Day-Lewis’s wife has promised that if he calls her “Mary Todd” one more time, she’s going to cram all four score and seven pieces of his “supper fixins” up his ass one by one.

[picture via Richmond.com]

Here’s Pixar’s contribution to the It Gets Better campaign.  Kudos to the people who make these, they’re tough.  Not bullying gay people is I guess one of those things that still needs to be said, even if it should be completely obvious to anyone with a half a brain.  At some point, I’d love to see this and Take Back the Night folded into a more inclusive “don’t be an *sshole moron” campaign. Or maybe a Heterosexual White Males: We’re Not All Out to Get You campaign.

Daniel Day-Lewis is Abraham Lincoln.  Incredible actor, certainly has the whole “looking angular” thing down.  The Steven Spielberg-directed film (based on the book Team of Rivals) begins next fall and Day-Lewis is already preparing by “visiting the state where the former president began his political career.”  I.e., Illinois.  He’s preparing to play Abraham Lincoln by visiting the state of Illinois.  Okay.  I know as an actor he probably wasn’t doing anything anyway, but could someone just rent Bill & Ted for him?  You’re making a Spielberg movie, dude, you’re not freeing the slaves. |AP/yahoo|

George Hickenlooper’s Death Ruled Accidental Overdose.  The Casino Jack/Factory Girl director who died a few weeks ago was found by the Colorado medical examiner to have died of an accidental overdose “after taking ethanol and oxymorphone.”  Wait, that’s still booze and pills, right?  Who calls it “ethanol”?  Dude was chuggin’ whiskey, not siphoning flex fuel. Unless he was much more hardcore than we ever imagined.|AP|

Crocodile Dundee’s Criminal Tax Evasion Charges Dropped. Paul Hogan reportedly owed $34 million and was barred from leaving Australia (he lives in LA), but apparently all that (at least the criminal part) is over now. Said Hogan, “That’s not a tax bill, THAT’s a tax bill,” and pointed to a red kangaroo with a comically oversized scrotum. He and the tax official had a good laugh about that before bonding over stubbies, loudly cursing the English, and finishing the night with a brotherly fist fight. |AP|

Wesley Snipes Sentenced to Three Years for Tax Evasion. Ouch.  Though he’s still not in custody and his lawyers are still trying to keep him out of prison. So, uh… good? Maybe you should’ve given the lawyer money to the gubment? Don’t you know “always bet on black” doesn’t hold up in court?  Anyway, good luck, and look out for autoerotic asphyxiation ninjas. |TorontoSun|

This is the final theatrical trailer for Rob Marshall’s Nine, exhorting you one last time to “be Italian” before its release on Christmas Day.  Luckily I’m already Italian, so I can grab my crotch and tell this trailer to “get lost” while thanking God I don’t have to post any more trailers about a guy who’s so cool that he’s “wearin’ shades in the middle of the night.”  If wearin sunglasses at night is cool, peeing your pants is Miles Davis.  Wait, what?

Anyway, it looks like there might be a good movie in there somewhere, but that music makes me want to cut off my ears and eat them.

Nine times out of ten when a person is offended by something, it’s because he or she is an idiot.  Moral outrage = not enough oxygen in the womb.  Sorry, folks, it’s just science.  But then this poster for Rob Marshall’s Nine came out, and I thought hey, why should stupid people have all the fun?  I want to be the aggrieved party for once.  So, as an Italian-American, I’d like to formally express my moral outrage at having Nine use the tagline “Be Italian.”  What is that supposed to mean?  Is this how you see us?  What an unfair stereotype.  You think we all just run around singing cheesy-ass songs and shooting movies that make perfume ads look subtle by comparison?  Screw you, buddy, you can’t just go around making sweeping generalizations like that, this isn’t Mexico.

I went ahead and made a poster that better reflects the diverse nature of real Italians.  I used an ancient symbol of national pride, Italian Anteater.

[via Cinematical, Yahoo]