So Dane Cook’s apartment complex in West Hollywood where he’s lived for the last 10 years is trying to evict him, because he reportedly lets his dog shit in the public courtyard and doesn’t clean up after it.  Dane Cook says evicting him from the apartment once occupied by John Belushi would jinx his career.  An excerpt from Cook’s filing:

“To live in the unit of one of the great legends was overwhelming and after moving in to that unit, I felt a creative drive that I had never felt before. It’s a little bit like the superstition that athletes have, before games, about a favorite bat or shoe, or the order in which they gear up; for me, this apartment has been the place where I’ve sat and worked on my comedy routines, and I can feel, and have felt, the presence of the true greats that lived there before me. It’s been a long road for me, in terms of developing my career as a comic, and the apartment is both a place of inspiration to me as well as a place where I go to feel connected to the source.” [Yahoo/E]

Hmm, let’s see if we can find any holes in this argument… *deep breath* If you want the court to consider something, don’t call it a “superstition”; if you liked the apartment so much, you shouldn’t have let your dog shit all over it; John Belushi OD’d in his prime which may not qualify as lucky; and your last three movies were Employee of the Month, Good Luck Chuck, and My Best Friends Girl - the court would be doing the world a favor if it jinxed this hot streak.  At least, that’s what I’d say if I were judge.  That, and “I’m naked under this robe,” and “Here come de judge, here come de judge…”

^{Mm-mmm! That is, a small, muthaf*ckin flashlight!}

Lakeview Terrace, from Neil LaBute, the director of Wicker Man (pictured below right) and Sam Jackson, the star of anything you pay him for, was the big winner this weekend, taking in $15.6 million for the top spot, nearly earning back its $20 million budget in its first weekend.

The other new movies all fared pretty badly.  Dane Cook continued to be box office poison as My Best Friend’s Girl opened in third with just $8.3 million.  Shockingly, it wasn’t screened for critics.  The cast, the concept, the poster, the fact that they actually used the song in the trailer – hard to pinpoint the exact problem when everything about the film was so spectacularly ill-conceived.  Dane Cook has now bombed opposite Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, and Kate Hudson which means he’s just a small step away from starring opposite Carmen Electra, and that’s when you’ve truly failed.  My favorite My Best Friend’s Girl review:

Want to spend a seemingly endless 100 minutes watching a dullard trying to decide between a douchebag and a eunuch? Then run, don’t walk, to My Best Friend’s Girl, a supremely irritating movie about idiots and their dull quest for unconvincing love. -MSNBC

Meanwhile, Ghost Town, starring Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear, received mostly positive reviews but opened all the way down at number 8 with $5.2 million.  I just can’t understand it, it seemed like such a fresh concept.  Full top ten after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Somehow I missed this yesterday, but the Boston City Council declared it Dane Cook Day.  And just in time for the release of My Best Friend’s Girl!  Seriously though, if being in one crappy movie with Kate Hudson is enough to get you honored by the City Council, Matthew McConnaughey should be emperor of the universe.  But back to Dane Cook Day – how should we celebrate?

“Let’s see, ‘Dane Cook Day’ in Boston…  It would be a day off, people would be given bags of gold and . . . a gift certificate to Legal Sea Foods. And I’d throw a party on the Boston Common where people could come dressed as their favorite biblical character.” [Boston Herald]

Oh, Dane, you’re so zany.  Not funny, per se, or cute, but, you know, wacky.  That should be your new nickname, Zany Dane.  Oh hey look, Zany Dane Cook is in another crappy movie, people would say.

In this new clip from My Best Friend’s Girl, Dane Cook does what he does best: recycle 10-year-old jokes from Urban Dictionary.  At the dinner table – ewww!

OMG, bro, he’s totally talking about the Dirty Houdini!  That’s like what would happen if the Dirty Sanchez gave the Houdini a Cleveland Steamer!  He totally reminds me me my big bro, Tony!  One time I touched a girl’s boob! Please think I’m cool!

George Lopez recently took a page from Dane Cook’s playbook, apologizing for his part in the Beverly Hills Chihuahua trailer, which was loathesome enough to spawn an its own New York Times article, and an entire YouTube category devoted to reaction videos.

“If you’ve seen the trailer, it’s either the greatest trailer you’ve ever seen if you’re 10, or the most annoying trailer you’ve ever witnessed in your life if you’re an adult,” Lopez confessed, laughing. “Disney’s doing a fantastic job of hooking the kids — they can’t wait. And if they hook the kids? The parents GOTTA take them!”

(Sample line from trailer’s song: “We’re the real hot dogs. Yo! Hold the bun.”)

10-year-old kids think anything is the most amazing thing they’ve ever seen.  I saw a bullfrong jump in a pond once when I was 10 and almost had an orgasm.  I think it’s pretty safe to say you could lock up the 10-year-old kid audience without making something that inspires people to buy annoying yapdogs.  In fact I have a movie pitch for you, it’s called Beverly Hills Paint My House.