Paul Schrader, the award-winning screenwriter best known for Raging Bull and Taxi Driver, is moving to Mumbai (formerly Bombay) to write and direct a Bollywood film.  Hollywood Reporter‘s lede for the story?

Paul Schrader is taking a taxi to Bollywood.

Come on, dude, you’re better than that.  That doesn’t even make sense as a metaphor.

“I’ve been getting indie movies made for 20 years,” Schrader said. “But I take a good look around and what I see is a barren, barren place — in terms of the financial community, in terms of audiences, in terms of distribution. It’s cold out there.”
“Extreme City” [Only one X?  Must not be very "exxxtreme" -Ed.] is a cross-cultural tale that will center on an American man who travels to India to help resolve a kidnapping case for his father-in-law, only to get caught up in a gangster plot.  There likely will be some musical numbers, and dialogue will be spoken in English and Hindi. Schrader is working on the script.

And then, just when all looks lost, and the man has abandoned all his principles, some dancing condoms convince him to search his heart for the truth with a song.

Read the rest of this entry »

Slumdog Millionaire is Danny Boyle’s film about a poor Indian kid who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire in order to impress a girl.  I hope he wins so he can go back the slum and tell her “See, bitch?  Now who’s too good for whom,” and then light a giant spliff with a $100 bill and splash cow shit on her with his Hummer on the way to a gangbang. Guess I’m just old fashioned like that.

Also: needs more dancing condoms.