A remake of Short Circuit is a really good idea, as you can see from this quote by one of the producers:

We’re bringing Number 5 into the 21st Century and taking advantage of the improvements in robotics that are so massive that robots are now performing heart surgeries in hospitals,” Producer David Foster said. [Variety]

And in case you still had any doubts about a remake, don’t.  They hired the director of Paul Blart: Mall Cop to direct it.  He’s Sassy Ostrich’s favorite.

Dimension Films has signed Steve Carr to direct “Short Circuit,” the remake of the 1986 sci-fi pic. Carr is coming off the Kevin James hit “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”  Scripted by Dan Milano (“Robot Chicken”), the remake is a robot reboot that brings the iconic Johnny 5 into the 21st century. Built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon, Johnny 5 develops a conscience and personality after being hit by lightning. He befriends a lonely boy and his fractured family. [Variety]

Look, I have as fond of memories of Johnny 5 as the next guy, especially the time those Puerto Ricans taught him how to steal car stereos.  But calling Johnny 5 “iconic” is like saying The Noid is an American institution.

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Aw, remember the good old days when Puerto Ricans could teach a robot how to steal car stereos?

When the remake of Short Circuit was first announced last year, it was set to be written by original Short Circuit writers Brent Maddock and the S.S. Wilson. The original was about a robot, intended as a weapon, who got struck by lightning and turned into a hippie, and then had to run from the government who wanted to destroy him (as I’ve said, almost all 80s movies were about peaceful aliens, robots, or mutants running from the government for some reason). Today it’s being reported that Robot Chicken writer Dan Milano has been hired on as a writer to give Maddock and Wilson’s script a “subversive edge.”

“We’re bringing Number 5 into the 21st Century and taking advantage of the improvements in robotics that are so massive that robots are now performing heart surgeries in hospitals,” Producer David Foster said. [Variety]

“It’s amazing, some people are even designing robots to give idiotic PR quotes.”  What Foster means, of course, is that in the updated version, Johnny 5 will wear sunglasses, and possibly have a faux hawk.  Seriously, who wants to bet me?  I guaran-goddamn-tee you either the trailer, the poster, or both will have Johnny 5 wearing sunglasses with his arms crossed over his chest.  Because he has attitude, you see.