A few days ago, Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof, who has 130,000 Twitter followers, Tweeted “Emma Frost’s THREE mutant powers: Telepathy, Transformation to Solid Diamond and last but not least, Sucking at Acting.”  It almost immediately got picked up by countless blogs and retweeted hundreds of times, because it turns out that a lot of people agree about January Jones’ acting vis-a-vis how much it sucks.  Well now Damon Lindelof is ashamed of what dicks you all are.  I guess some people have a lot of growing up to do.  Late last night he tweeted:

“I am only slightly less disgusted with the amount of play my X-Men comment got than I am with myself for making it in the first place.”

I enjoy watching the entertainment industry’s growing pains as they try to reconcile the consequences of having opinions with a forum that allows you to immediately broadcast your off-hand remarks to millions of people, even it’s 3 am and you’re sh*tcanned on booze and Ambien, NOT THAT I’M POINTING ANY FINGERS, SANJAY GUPTA.  Anyway, I just hope public figures stop self-flagellating for having the occasional controversial thought, or else we’re going to get a lot more Tweeters like Yoko Ono:

“Grapefruit is a hybrid of lemon and orange. Snow is a hybrid of wish and lament.”

Okay, that might not be such a bad thing.  On that note, I think Vespa scooters reflect the duality of anticipation and sashimi.

Cowboys and Aliens is your basic aliens-as-metaphor-for-imperialism graphic novel, and has been in development for quite some time.  But sh’t got real back in June when Robert Downey Jr. signed on to star, and sh’t's about to get mega super real now that Jon Favreau has signed on to direct a script written by Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Damon Lindelof.  If you’re keeping score at home, that’s the writer/director team behind Iron Man plus the writers of Star Trek and Transformers, plus one of the top dogs at Lost.  If hotness were bricks, this project would have plenty.

The story centers on an Old West battle between the Apache and Western settlers, including a former Union Army gunslinger named Zeke Jackson (Downey), that is interrupted by a spaceship crashing into the prairie near Silver City, Ariz.  The story draws a parallel between the American imperialist drive to conquer the “savage” Indians with its advanced technology and the aliens’ assault on Earthlings, who must join together to survive the invaders’ attack. [THR]

Kurtzman, Orci & Co. (Kortzi) are taking over scripting duties from Iron Man writers Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby (Fergby), which is interesting, as it’s well known in Hollywood circles that Kortzi/Fergby is a professional rivalry the likes of which some say hasn’t been seen since Beatles/Stones, or Brando/Schwarzenegger.  The dueling duos frequently attend the same parties, and after a few Zimas, have been known to engage in some heated chicken fights.

[via HeatVision]

Apologies, folks, as this may take some explaining:

So earlier this week, I received the above signed print of Lost producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and a Polar bear from Human Giant comedian Paul Scheer, along with a hand-written letter saying he’d be painting more Lost-related art and selling it on his website starting August 15th.  “I am to black velvet what Eko was to that stick,” he wrote.

Over on Scheer’s website, he says he’s been getting cease and desist orders from a mysterious entity known as “Ronie Midfew Arts”.  (Foo-arts?  Farts?)  He also posted this picture of his painting in the trash at the “Lost production office” supposedly sent to him by an ABC intern known as “Mr. Klugh.”  Get it?  Clue?  Subtle.

So then today I got this letter on “Ronie Midfew Arts” letterhead via FedEx. It’s basically a cease and desist letter telling me not to make copies of the polar bear painting.  Meanwhile, the Ronie Midfew Arts website is just one page that says “15 will be lost The 16th Will be found,” — I’m assuming a reference to August 15th, when Scheer said he was going to start selling his paintings. He also says on his website “Today I went to ABC today to find out the truth about what happened to my painting, but what I found was sooo much more…”  Mysterious.  I think maybe he visited the department of redundancy department.  Anyway, he says a video is forthcoming.

Yeah, so long story short, I assume this is all some kind of viral marketing stunt or eventually a guy in a gorilla suit is going hit me in the crotch with a pie (the punishment for gullibility). But I figured I might as well play along.  Because I like getting letters.  It makes me feel all important and old timey.  “Cor bloimey, guv, Oy’ve got a lett uh?  Jus’ put it under me top hat an’ Oy’ll read it whoilst Oy get me shoes shoined.”

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It doesn’t matter if JJ Abrams’ Star Trek is any good when it comes out May 8th – it already has huge buzz! Because we talk about it in the internet, you see.  And now the writing team of Robert Orci, Alex Kurtzman (the guys who wrote Transformers and The Island) and Damon Lindelof have signed up for a sequel.

“There’s obviously a lot of hubris involved in signing on to write a sequel of a movie that hasn’t even come out yet,” said Lindelof, co-creator with Abrams of ABC’s “Lost” who produced the upcoming “Trek” but did not contribute to Orci and Kurtzman’s screenplay. “But we’re so excited about the first one that we wanted to proceed.”
As for potential storylines, Kurtzman stressed that the writing team will wait to take a cue from fan reaction about which direction to go [Ed. Note: please don't.  Fans are idiots.].
“Obviously we discussed ideas, but we are waiting to see how audiences respond next month,” he said. “With a franchise rebirth, the first movie has to be about origin. But with a second, you have the opportunity to explore incredibly exciting things. We’ll be ambitious about what we’ll do.” [Variety]

Hmm, first film after franchise rebirth… I know!  We could call it Star Trek: The Afterbirth.  But I’m sure this will be great. Look how well Indiana Jones’ franchise rebirth went.