I don’t usually post mash-ups, because the concept’s a bit stale, and because most people will just take sound from one thing and put it over another and call that a mash up, and there’s nothing interesting about that. Unless you’re watching Wizard of Oz and listening to Pink Floyd while tripping balls on angel dust (it also works with ether, Mac & Me, and “99 Luftballoons” - it’s uncanny). Where was I? Oh yeah. This is Star Wars, recut to look like Dallas, set to the Dallas theme music (which is pretty awesome, far as 80s theme music goes). Two different things! Together! Science, I could take you in the mouth right now.
[thanks to liveforfilms]
Because when I think Ben Stiller, I think patriarchal Texas oil man.
Page Six is reporting that John Travolta has been dropped from the cast [of the upcoming Dallas movie] and replaced by Ben Stiller in the role of J.R. Ewing. According to Page Six’s sources, Travolta was "let go about two weeks ago. He had the role of J.R. Ewing taken from him" — ouch! But don’t feel too bad for Travolta; the same sources went on to say that, "John was given a nice seven-figure ‘gift’ to go away quietly". [cinematical]
Dude gets seven figures? All I ever get is pepper spray and a restraining order. Travolta was attached to the project as far back as 2006, when it was a big-budget drama. But when they decided to hire Betty Thomas and make it a comedy in the vein of the Brady Bunch movies, Travolta no longer fit the bill. Ironically, people who worship the spirits of dead aliens aren’t very good at not taking themselves too seriously.
I don’t know a lot about Dallas other than that it popularized the extended dream sequence. I hate dream sequences. In fact, I hate it when people tell me about their dreams. Dreams are basically your brain farting, and I prefer not to have it wafted in my direction. Oh, Dallas is also an anagram of "All Sad". Coincidence?
If you know what 'spoof' means in Aussie slang, you'll know why I went with that headline over "BETTY DOES DALLAS".
Anyway, Private Parts Director (the occupation I list on my business cards) Betty Thomas has signed on to direct the movie adaptation of Dallas, with John Travolta attached to play JR, and Hot Rod writer Pam Brady writing the script.
Thomas previously directed the Brady Bunch movies and Can't Hardly Wait, a teen movie classic which was solely responsible for me writing "Aman-duh!" on the cups of countless Starbucks patrons named Amanda. Thomas is the third director attached to the project, which was originally set to be directed by Robert Luketic (Monster in Law) and later Gurinder Chadha of Bend it Like Beckham. Boy, Indian names are rough, aren't they? I know I don't speak the language, but it seems like avoiding names that end in "Durrr" is always a good policy.
The choice of Thomas signals a move to a more parody-oriented movie, which is good, because much like Cave Painting with Afro Guy and Robin Williams being funny, Dallas was something that happened before I was born. Thus, I would rather see it made fun of. Much like Gerald Ford.
UPDATE: As ass toot commenter Godotzilla correctly points out, Thomas did not direct Can't Hardly Wait. Don't blame me, blame those lazy Australians at MovieHole.
