Summit just released the first clip from the Twilight Saga: Eclipse (which you can watch below), featuring Dakota Fanning and her clan of foppish dandies, the Volturi. I didn’t watch it myself, but judging by this screen cap, Dakota’s bitchy BFFs are none too thrilled with Edward Cullen’s slovenly appearance.

“Oh. Em. Gee. Like did you SEE his hair?  I’m like hell-ooo, honey, you’ve been alive for a thousand years and you STILL haven’t figured out hair product?  It’s so tragic.  The bedhead look is SO 1680s.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.  What a disaster.  Oh my God.  More plaid, I can’t even LOOK at him.”

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And now, because you asked for it, the Runaways music video with 16-year-old Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie singing “Cherry Bomb” in underwear and garters.  It’s definitely odd casting.  On one hand, as Ufford just told me, “That’s the first time I’ve listened to ‘Cherry Bomb’ in its entirety.”

On the other, Dakota Fanning’s probably the only actress I could see singing a suggestive song about her jailbait status in her underwear while thrusting her hips around and think, “Hmm, I wonder if this is for a sociology paper.”

(“SEE GIRLS? THEY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEIR BAD REPUTATION.”)

After the jump I’ve got the newest trailer for The Runaways, starring 16-year-old Dakota Fanning and 19-year-old Kristen Stewart as the leaders of the seminal girl-rock group.  It follows Cherie Currie and Joan Jett as they eschew small-town conformity in favor of being hard-ass bitches.  Critics are already calling it Whip It without roller skates.  It’s also chock full of sexiness, like Dakota Fanning seductively sucking her straw, KStew telling her “this ain’t baby shampoo”, and shooting a squirt gun down her throat.  It’s like they’re trying really hard to convince us Dakota Fanning swallows.

And then at the end, a wet, ripe cherry explodes everywhere.  Stephenie Meyers wept.

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The Runaways biopic stars almost-jailbait Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and definitely jailbait Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie, and they just released a new poster.  It may be a literal interpretation of The Runaways hit “Cherry Bomb”, but it’s also a poster for a movie starring a 15-year-old girl… which features a dripping wet cherry.  It works on so many levels, and most of them will get you arrested.  Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chris Han-sen.

New clip below, and be sure to check out what I just made.

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Back in 2007, Spawn-creator Todd McFarlane made a line of toys called The Twisted Land of Oz.  He wanted to do a movie version, a dark re-imagining of Wizard of Oz — Dakota Fanning was rumored to star.  Now, apparently, that project is dead, but according to Pajiba, a family-friendly Oz sequel developed parallel to McFarlane’s version, Oz: The Return to Emerald City, is moving forward at WB. From Pajiba‘s source:

It’s a modern-day sequel. The story centers on Dorothy Neil, a bright and ambitious young lawyer for a prestigious law firm in Chicago. Neil is the grand-daughter of Dorothy Gale, who is now an old woman living in Kansas and telling her tales about her time in the land of Oz to a new generation of kids. However, trouble is afoot in Oz, as a new witch is destroying the magic that keeps the entire place running. While babysitting her boss’ kid, the kid and Dorothy Neil are brought back to Oz and united with the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow and tasked with killing an evil witch and restoring order in Oz.

Huh, well that… certainly… sounds like… a movie.  Look, all I’m saying is if a house landed on a witch’s top half, but her bottom half was just laying there with her dress pulled up… I’d probably go to town.  I mean why waste it, right?  What.  What.  Oh sure, I’m the weird one.