Our friend Evan Husney from Severin films has an eye for obscure 80s trash and sleaze the likes of which has no equal (see also: the special-needs transvestite cocaine dance party, Nicole Kidman’s lost BMX film, the world’s most sensual pool hall), and his latest contribution is this clip from Sledgehammer, which Severin is releasing through their intervision sub-label on Tuesday (order here).  I’ve got three copies of the DVD to giveaway to anyone who can answer the question after the jump.  First, the rundown:

Severin Films today announced an agreement with the estate of Larry Gold, Sr. to handle all future production and marketing for Intervision Picture Corporation. The arrangement commences with the 5/10 release of 1983’s SLEDGEHAMMER, notorious as the first shot-on-tape ‘slasher’ thriller for the then-exploding home video market. Gold, a pioneer of ‘70s film distribution and ‘80s genre VHS, died in March following a massive coronary at his home in Thailand.

The 5/10 release of SLEDGEHAMMER marks the return of director David A. Prior’s bizarre video shocker, which was celebrated as part of Los Angeles’ Cinefamily ‘Homemade Horror’ series and will be screened on street-date at Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse. Future Intervision releases include the 1989 ‘Canuxploitaion’ oddity THINGS and 1993’s disturbing THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER.

I’ve got a clip below, and like everything Evan sends me, including pictures of his peen, it will probably give me nightmares.

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As if I wasn’t already turned on enough at the thought of spilling my seed inside a woman, her getting pregnant and then behaving like a b-tch for 9 months, there is a new “people die around this child” horror movie to warn me. According to some dude’s Livejournal page and this other hombre’s Blogspot site, Renee Zelwegger’s upcoming horror flick Case 39 has finally received a dependable release date of September 25th, after already being pushed back twice.

“Case 39″ centers on an idealistic social worker who saves an abused 10-year-old girl from her parents only to discover that the girl is not as innocent as she thinks. [IMDB]

Ya see? This is why I just can’t bring myself to ever lend a helping hand: it’s too damn dangerous there days. I had these two friends, Brad and Angelina, and one day they sent me a text message that was all like, “CHODE! Wat U up 2 2day?! we R bored :/ want 2 com adopt kidz with US?!?“. It’s not that I didn’t want to go and adopt children with my friends, it’s that I couldn’t. I mean, do you know how much of a p-ssy I’d look like if I went out at the hands of a 10-year-old adopted child? I’d be the laughing stock of the morgue. I’d look like a fruit.

-Chodin

Here’s the new “yellow band” trailer (for age appropriate audiences, whatever the hell that means) for The Unborn, yet another horror movie based around the idea that little kids whispering are creepy.  And oh hey look, there’s that little kid from Hancock again.  Seriously? It wasn’t enough to cast kids with horrible speech impediments, we had to find one with a misshapen head?  You just know that creepy lil’ f-cker’s gonna be starring in a gangbang with Screech and MiniMe in ten years.  Just say no to child actors.