(via FacesofOldDogs)
USA Today recently did a fluff piece on the modern classic Old Dogs, and you just know someone was quoted saying something really stupid because just look at this embarrassment. I’d rather watch a snuff film about a relative. Anyway, the winner of the dipsh-t sweepstakes is John Travolta, who says reading the script was “the hardest I ever laughed.”
Travolta says that one lure of the film was the centerpiece scene, where Travolta and Williams mix up their medications. Travolta’s face turns into a Joker-like smile, while Williams’ tongue grows to the size of a dill pickle.
“That scene, I’ve probably laughed harder than I ever have,” Travolta says. “I knew I wanted to do the movie when I read that part. I’d pay $10 to see that scene.”
Would you? Would you pay $10 to see it when it was in The Game Plan with The Rock, or just the other 30 times it happened in a stupid movie? Don’t answer that, just choke.
This is the trailer for Grown Ups, from Dennis Dugan, who previously directed You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, The Benchwamers, and National Security. It stars both Rob Schneider and Kevin James, because God hates me.
Continuing their tradition of making actors do embarrassing stunts for money, Fox has hired Owen Wilson to be the voice of Marmaduke (rest of the cast here). Fox is essentially Hollywood’s answer to the guys from Bumfights.
Wilson’s boarding is the last piece of the puzzle for the live-action/CG movie, which has shades of Fox’s surprise smash “Marley & Me” [i.e., it involves a dog -Ed.] and follows a family named the Winslows who move from Kansas to Orange County with their dog Marmaduke, a slobbery pooch who creates chaos wherever he goes. Tom Dey (Shanghai Noon, Failure to Launch) is directing, and John Davis is producing the family comedy, which has a June 2010 release date. [THR]
For his part, Owen Wilson has been preparing for the role by playing basically the same character in You, Me, and Dupree.
MATT DILLON: “Dupree! Did you crap on the carpet again? You’re the worst house guest ever!”
OWEN WILSON: “Hey, man, I’m a free spirit.”
(*air guitar*)
(”No, please, not a tribal tattoo!”)
Cockroaches and Saw movies, those will be the only things to survive if there’s a nuclear apocalypse. Why? Because Saw VII, that’s why. They’ve already got the release date locked up (October 2010 - yep, one per year), and the plan is to make this installment 3D.
Twisted Pictures producer Mark Burg told the press next year’s entry is slightly more expensive and involves more pre-production. Why? Because it will be shot in 3-D with Saw V’s David Hackl back in the director’s chair. [Thank goodness. Saw VI was supposed to be twice as good as Saw III, but it was really only half-again better than Saw IV]. Burg says he was impressed by a brief presentation he saw of the original Saw in 3-D and felt the series lent itself to the format.
“It’s worth it,” he explains. “We want to be able to build the sets that take advantage of depth. We’re going to design traps to come at you. The pendulum trap that opened the last movie would have been great in 3-D.” He’s excited by the prospect of the next entry and compares some of the gags they’ve got in mind to My Bloody Valentine 3D.
“A lot of the movie we’re planning where the victim’s eye, stuff is coming towards them. They’re point of view. I think the audience wants some Bloody Valentine-type moments where the gun comes into the audience and stuff like that.” [Shocktillyoudrop]
A gun comes into the audience? If only. Whatever, I feel the same way about torture porn as I do about pro wrestling or musicals — I don’t really get it, but if that’s your thing, swell, just stay away from my pets. It also seems like these movies could be greatly improved if only Dennis Hopper showed up whenever everyone gets thrown in the rape dungeon to yell, “POP QUIZ, HOTSHOT!”
It seems like every script deal these days involves a concept that could be fully explained in a photoshop or tagline. You think that’s ’cause people are stupider nowadays? What was I talking about again?
Working Title paid high six figures against seven figures [that means high six figures for the script, seven figures if they make the movie] for an untitled concept comedy that Allan Loeb will write as a star vehicle for Ryan Reynolds.
Pic is described as a dude-in-drag romantic comedy, with Reynolds playing a jilted lover who must disguise himself as a woman and befriend his ex in order to win her back. [Variety]
Are you sh-tting me? I realize the pitch was only worth that much because Ryan Reynolds was attached, but good lord, it’s not even a script yet. He sold them on an idea that’s basically already been done better in hastily thrown-together South Park episodes. I’ve seen better ideas in the comments section of this blog YouTube. After this, Ryan Reynolds will have done a dressing-in-drag movie AND a fat suit movie. All he has to do now is play a retard and a Holocaust survivor to complete Hollywood’s version of hitting for the cycle.
