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Oi, da Staf’ ‘eah.  So in dis scene, Oy’s Chev Chelios, an Oy’s worried dat Oy’s gonna doy unless oy knob dis fit bird – Oy fink it’s loike some koinda me’aphor for loife, donnit.  Roight, so dere Oy am inna middle a da fock’n Choina town, troyin ta give ‘er a knobbin, but she don’ wanna cuz dere’s too many Choinese cunts just standin’ round.  But Oy keep troiyin anyway cos it ain’ loike Oy got anyfing betta ta do, now doesn Oy?  So den Oy’s still troiyin ta get me knob wet when all uvva sudden da bird punches me roight inna Chevy Chase.  Oy’s stunned for a bit, but den Oy fink to moyself, “Oi, so dat’s ‘ow we’s gonna play it den, innit?” an’ Oy staht rippin da bird’s clovves off.  Den a course da fock’n bird finally decoides she fancies a shag, cos nuffin changes a bird’s moind loike pushin’ er down an tearin’ ‘er clovves off.  Anyway, Da Transpor’a or Crank or whateva it’s called, it’s a noice bloody fock’n movie.  Oy fink da moral a da fock’n story is dat all birds loike a good knobbin, no matta where dey is or ‘ow much of a foight dey put up, even if sometoimes you ‘ave to rip deir clovves off in fronna some Choinese cunts.  It’s a story as old as toime, innit.

In a recent interview with Empire Magazine, Jason Statham revealed that after he finishes work on all the latest Transporters and Cranks, his next project will be The Grabbers, a project written by David and Janet Peoples (12 Monkeys), which will be heavily influenced by the Bogart classic The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.  Statham had this to say about the project:

Oy, yeah. E’s koynda loike a Treashya a da Sierra Madre, only dat bloke ‘at played it befo’, ‘e wizz always keepin’ ‘e’s shir’ on.  An’ oy bloody weww ain’ gonna fock’n do dat, now ees oy?  Oy’s fock’n Jason Stafam now isn’ oy?  An’ anuvva fing – dem blokes ina Sierra Madre, ‘umphrey Blogar’ ‘an oww dat, dey ain’t got no flash ca’s, ‘as dey?  Dat’s definitely somefin we’s got ‘a change, cos fock’n Jason Stafam don’ go droivin’ round in some piddly fock’n wank wagon, now duz dey?  Now, win we soy e’s gonna be loike da Treashya a da Sierra Madre in oww dat, wut we mean e’s dat oy’s gonna be droivin’ round inna fancy sazz wagon wif me shir’ off, when oww uvva sudden oy sees dis fit Mexican bird, roight?  An’ before you know it we’s goin’ onna search fa da fock’n lost gold, an’ rippin each uvva’s clothes off an ‘avvin a go at each uvva onna bafroom floor an’ oww dat, dja know whut oy mean?  An’ ‘en some fock’n blokes come, ‘an dey troy ta taike a treashya, so oy staaht smashin’ bugga’s oww ovva da bloody plaice, coz oy’s fock’n Jason Stafam, oy ain’ gonna bloody weww sit ‘ere an’ play fock’n Choinese Chek’uhs, now ees oy?

Jason Statham will be returning for a Crank sequel (why yes, "Jason Statham Does Crank" would indeed have been a hilariously apropos headline, douchebag).

Jason Statham will reprise the role of hitman Chev Chelios in "Crank 2: High Voltage" for Lionsgate and Lakeshore Entertainment.  The two companies are also teaming on "Game," starring Gerard Butler. Michael C. Hall has signed on to co-star in the futuristic thriller.  [Variety]

In "Crank 2," Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. [IESB]

Look, all I’m sayin is if "Kickstart My Heart" ain’t on the soundtrack, someone should get fired.

MOY NAIME IS CHEV CHELIOS, AND TODAIY’S DA DAIY OY DOY… AGAIN.