UPDATE, 2/7: A talked to a source close to the original post, who said that the author intended it to be more than a little bit sarcastic and tongue in cheek. Frankly, that makes a lot of sense. And the person was very nice, so keep that in mind as you read it. Perhaps my Portlandia comparison was less newsworthy than just… taken at face value?
Excuse yet another non-movie-related digression from me, but this was just too perfect not to share. So I’ve been apartment hunting here in San Francisco for the past week, and I love this city, but man, many of the stereotypes about us are true, and never are they laid more plain than when you’re scrolling through Craigslist ads. The “vegan household seeks non-meat-eater,” the “we don’t have a TV in the common area and we’d like to keep it that way” – you’d think you were looking for a drum circle instead of a room. There are plenty of non-noteworthy “only in SF”-type posts (and even typing “only in SF” makes me want to kick my own ass), but the one I’m about to share manages to combine nearly every stereotype into one, magnificently un-self-aware post. If Portlandia was about San Francisco, the person who wrote this would be one of the characters.
I’m trying to leave out identifiers and not link the post so this poor girl doesn’t get a million emails, but here’s the text (names have been changed):
It’s 7:14am and the sun is beginning to reach through the window, around your curtains, gently rousing you from an undisturbed night of rest. Sitting up, you hear the jingle of a bell – it’s Bambina the cat, scurrying towards her food bowl. You know that your lovely roommate, Marina, will soon follow, rubbing the sleep from her eye and muttering about the “little bastard” under her breath. Minutes later, Kyle walks past with one of his many bicycles. You wish him a nice day as he heads out the door to his job at an ad agency.
Stepping into the newly remodeled kitchen, Marina asks if you would like to taste some of the kale smoothie she just made…it is surprisingly delicious. You sip the delicious smoothie and look out onto the garden where a hummingbird is gracefully sipping it’s [sic] own breakfast from a flower.