(Totally not what I was expecting when I Googled “John Cusack Young Boy”).

After the jump you can watch the new red-band trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine, which has more swearing and nudity than my mom’s new boyfriend.   You can also see what Rob Corddry, John Cusack, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke are supposed to look like in the 80s.  Not to mention some sweet John Cusack green screen action.  “Look, grandma, I’m driving a car lol!”  John Cusack probably has a ton of green screen experience after he was in 2012, and from the time he did that music video with Bangs.

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It’s hard to go wrong with a movie called “Hot Tub Time Machine”, but it’s nice to see they assembled a fun group of actors too.  I love Rob Corddry, but if he played Dane Cook or Matthew McConnaughey’s sidekick in a rom-com one more time, I’d… well, I’d throw a pretty big hissy fit, I don’t mind saying *takes drag of cigarette*.  Anyway, here he’s teamed up with Clark Duke, Craig Robinson (my favorite husky black man besides Tracy Morgan), and John Cusack (who’s hopefully not still being a dick to everyone like he was on the 2012 press tour).

The plot looks a lot like the Aspen Extreme episode of South Park.  They basically go back in time and then party like it’s an 80s ski movie.   Though if it were me and I had access to a time machine, I’d go back to when we were kids and molest all the girls who rejected me.  That way I could go back to the present and they’d either have low enough self-esteem that they’d go out with me or they’d be strippers.  Pretty much a win-win.

[via Yahoo]

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What’s the most awesome movie title?

The red-band trailer for The Goods begins with Jeremy Piven saying “I have hair on my balls and I sell cars. The end.”  I put the over/under on the number of critics using that line as an insult in their reviews at 15.  The jokes still seem pretty easy, the dialog improvised on the spot, and the concept something Will Ferrell and Adam McKay mailed in years ago, but I admit it got a couple chuckles out of me – especially Craig Robinson as a strip-club DJ.

“Couple guys came in here looking for Vanessa, and I got a little bad news for ya, Vanessa is dead.  Here’s Motley Crüe.”

Anyway, I’m sure it won’t change your life, but if you’ve ever read this site you already know I’ve got nothing against the easy jokes.  Plus if you’re anything like me, your life’s already AWESOME.  (*shotguns Tecate, scratches balls*)

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The rundown on Hot Tub Time Machine: stars Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, John Cusack, and Rob Corddry, plus is purported to feature appearances by Chevy Chase and Crispin Glover.  Directed by Steve Pink (Mr. Pink, hee hee!), who last did Accepted.  Official synopsis:

After a night of drinking Red Bull and vodkas, a group of guys travel back in time to when they were younger cads.

Honestly, I could sit here all day telling you about Hot Tub Time Machine, but let’s face it: the movie’s called Hot Tub Time Machine.  There’s no way you aren’t going to see it.  In fact, I don’t know why they even bothered making a regular trailer.  The teaser for this movie should just be a border collie with mirrored shades riding around on a skateboard while Huey Lewis & the News sing a rockin jam called “Hot Tub Time Machine.”

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^{This is how it’s done, Joaquin.}

After the jump, I’ve got the NSFW red-band trailer for Miss March, which would look like a horrible Maxim movie or a direct-to-DVD American Pie sequel… only it stars two of the Whitest Kids You Know and Craig Robinson from The Office.  Just to set this clip up, Whitest Kid Zach Cregger needs a prom limo, so he calls his best friend, Whitest Kid Trevor Moore*, who sets him up with rapper “Horsedick dot Mpeg”, played by Craig Robinson.  Then we cut to Horsedick’s music video for “I’m a F-ck a White Bitch.”  I have to admit, I gigglequeefed. It’s amazing what a crappy, middle-of-the-road teen comedy can become when people who are actually funny get involved.

^{*Quoth… the traven?}
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