Holy sh*t, I had no idea hair could have a lisp.  You wouldn’t think letting your pre-pubescent son hang out with Michael Jackson would mess him up at all, would you?  Nah, couldn’t be.  |via TheSuperficial|

MORNING LINKS

Week In Review: Rebecca Black And The Situation Must Be Stopped. |Uproxx|

An Asgard-load of New Thor Photos. |GammaSquad|

Here’s My Bracket. Where’s Yours? |WithLeather|

Ten Reality Stars Who Failed at Life. |WarmingGlow|

Rebecca Black, the racist UCLA girl, making fun of Battle LA and more on this week’s Frotcast. |Frotcast|

Panama City Spring Break brawl includes angry chick, taser, mace, and horse. |BarstoolSports|

Charlie Sheen beating Sarah Palin in presidential polling. |Buzzfeed|

I think this might be Nick_Nolte‘s baby. |TheDailyWhat|

The 50 funniest tombstones. |UGO|

The soap bra leaves even less to the imagination than the sand bra. |GorillaMask|

Mel Gibson is photogenic. |WWTDD|

The reality, Darren Aronofsky was never on Wolverine 2 to begin with. |Pajiba|

A symphony of goats. |EgoTVOnline|

Happy St. Patrick’s Day – Getting Drunk in Video Games. |G4|

Ark Music wants to make the internet hate your daughters. |HolyTaco|

FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week. FilmDrunk Shirts

For everyone wearing a wristwatch right now, I’d like you all to please take a close look at the long and short hands of your clock. If you look carefully enough, you’ll notice that at this exact moment it is time for Corey Feldman to cash some mother f–king checks. ShockTillYouDrop just posted the new trailer for Lost Boys: The Thirst and if you’re anything like me, you’ve just crapped into a paper lunch sac.

This time around we follow the Frog Brothers as they embark on a race to save humanity, blah, blah, blah, vampires be shoppin’. I’d love to overindulge you with a synopsis, but Feldman’s voiceover in the trailer is too good to rival. It’d be like showing up at Charlie Sheen’s house and competing to see who could verbally threaten his wife better. You’ll always lose.

“There is a nightcrawler… who’s created a new designer drug… the only problem is that it’s not a drug… it’s Ellen Degeneres vampire blooooood.”

Video after the jump:
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Collider talked to Hangover director and gangbang enthusiast Todd Phillips about Hangover 2.  Among other things, he says rumors about the movie being set in Mexico or Thailand aren’t true.  The interviewer tries to get him to compare the Hangover characters to the Sex and the City characters, but he declines.  You can read all about this and more in my upcoming book, Todd Phillips is a Smart Man.

Corey Feldman’s open letter to Corey Haim is definitely not something he did for attention, because when you write an open letter to a dead guy, the last thing you could want is for someone to read it other than the intended recipient.  It’s hard to make a joke about a tragedy, so I’ll simply point out that he signed the letter “CF Core Feldog DAWG C-DOG KID.”  Child actors, dude. |MovieWeb|

Warner is making a fifth Final Destination movie.  This despite the fourth one being called The Final Destination.  Warner chief said the decision was made “because we can’t resist.”  These cheap horror movies are like heroin, you see.  Because the people who buy them are mostly losers. |SlashFilm|

Watch Spike Jonze’s short film I’m Here for free online, courtesy of Absolut Vodka.  I know that’s what I’ll be doing, because the sunlight burns my skin. *hiss*  Get it off! Get it off!  |I’mHere|

Finally, this dog is riding a donkey. Get down from there, dog.  You’re not hiking into the grand canyon, you don’t even have a saddle bag to carry. (Thanks, Jacktion!)

What’s up, Suck Monkeys.  Corey Feldman went on Larry King last night, and though it may have looked like he was there to audition for the lead in a lesbian remake of Cry Baby, the truth is much, much stupider.

If you managed to catch Corey Feldman on Larry King last night, you heard Feldman announce the news that at the time of Corey Haim’s death, the two friends were working on a follow-up to the 1988 teen comedy License to Drive. According to Feldman, they had just met up about the sequel, License to Fly, and planned on turning it into a possible trilogy with a third film called License to Dive. [Cinematical]

Get out of my dreams. Get into my… boat. Did anyone else just get a mental picture of Corey Haim pulling up to the curb in a convertible with a diving helmet on?  Just me then?  Fine.  But yes, it’s a real tragedy that these movies will never get made.

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This is the teaser for the new web series Splatter, from b-movie super-producer Roger Corman and Gremlins director Joe Dante.  It premieres on at Netflix.com/Splatter on Halloween.  I’m not sure what the goal of this teaser was, but if it was to make me feel incredibly uncomfortable then quickly shut my laptop and throw it in a trashcan and light it on fire, well done.  (And that was before the shooting. The shooting was actually the least uncomfortable part.)

[via Twitch]