Hotel Chevalier, Wes Anderson’s 17-minute Darjeeling Limited-related short that supposedly shows Natalie Portman nude, will premiere at Apple Stores in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco on Tuesday, and will be available on iTunes the following day. Though Anderson may be trying to add Chevalier to the Darjeeling after the first few weeks. 

In other news, Bakersfield just added a second IHOP.  It’s a wonderful time to be alive! 

[via /film] 

It seems like we've been hearing about Juno for a while now, and finally the trailer is online. 

It's directed by Jason Reitman, and much as I hate to say anything un-hateful about Hollywood royalty, he directed Thank You for Smoking, which was actually semi-decent, and his latest stars Michael Cera, Rainn Wilson, and Jason Bateman – clearly a solid ensemble.

The plot centers around Juno, a high school chick who gets knocked up by a dude who looks like Michael Cera.  Not surprisingly, she decides to give the baby up for adoption and meets Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner, a young (I guess?) couple looking to adopt.

Now, I'm not exactly the mouthpiece of Planned Parenthood, but when dealing with an unwanted child, I say leave it with a family of hyenas.  The baby either gets ripped limb from limb, or it grows up to be a scrappy hardass who loves to laugh. It's a win-win situation.      

From director Jason Reitman (Thank You for Smoking), Juno stars Ellen Page, Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, JK Simmons and Rainn Wilson.  Though I doubt Reitman getting hired as a director is strictly merit-based, Thank You for Smoking wasn't bad (especially Adam Brody's part), and at least he's not another goddamned Coppola or Paltrow.  

Ellen Page plays a high school girl who Michael Cera gets pregnant (wouldn't that be embarrassing – I smell prom baby!).  I haven't seen it, but the /Film guy says it's his favorite movie of 2007 and could be the next Little Miss Sunshine.  Then again, they've been known to get excited about Star Trek t-shirts, so take that with a grain of salt. 

Here's the poster for The Good Night, directed by Jake Paltrow, in which a bunch of famous people wear those eye cover thingies that only people in movies wear.  They're basically props that say "LOOK, MY CHARACTER IS SLEEPING NOW."  It's retarded. It's like strapping a steak to your mouth so the audience knows you're eating.  

Also, Jake Paltrow?  Every pretentious A-hole with a video camera wants to be a movie director, and yet Hollywood keeps trying to sell us the idea that the only people good enough to get a picture deal just happen to be related to everyone else in Hollywood.  

Their movies will continue to suck if they keep letting peoples' kids direct movies.  When are they going to learn that kids can't do anything right?  They can't drive cars, they can't poach eggs right, and they sure as hell don't know how to operate a lathe.  All they ever seem to do is whine for food and tell me how much they hate the "stop hitting yourself" game.  Screw them, that game's awesome. 

Despite earlier reports, it appears that Wes Anderson's short Hotel Chevalier will not be playing before The Darjeeling Limited once it hits theatres on September 29th (though it will be released online and included in the DVD).

It also appears that the early press on Darjeeling is not good. From the Hollywood Reporter:

What ensues is like a third-rate Hope and Crosby picture with no big laughs and nothing to say as the completely self-involved threesome ride the rails in a circle back to their dull and uninteresting lives. "Darjeeling" will need all the help it can get to find audiences beyond the stars' committed fans.

While I'm not a person who relies heavily on reviews, especially from the Hollywood Reporter, I've said all along that this looks more like an excuse to dick around India than an idea for a great movie.  And I'll trust pretty much anything that reinforces my own stereotypes.  I watch Michael Bay movies because deep down I know that black people always keep it real, and I use the internet because I know that sexy girls from my area want to meet for hook ups and sexy parties. 

In conclusion, Asian girls are bad at driving.