Bryce Dallas Howard has signed on to replace Rachelle Lefevre as the villain Victoria in Eclipse, the third Twilight movie. Yes, they’re making a third Twilight movie.  They’re probably going to make 12, better just accept it now.

Lefevre played the role in the first pic, “Twilight,” and in the upcoming “New Moon.”  The studio attributed the move to scheduling conflicts. The actress was recently cast in the indie drama “Barney’s Version” opposite Dustin Hoffman, which also has an Aug. 17 start date, only several thousand kilometers east, in Quebec.  Victoria attempts to kill heroine Bella (Kristen Stewart) as she avenges the death of her mate James. [THR]

Uh huh, scheduling, suuure.  Just like when my girlfriend dumped me for a hotter dude – our schedules just didn’t match up!  Relationships are so complicated!  Anyway, considering Ron Howard is himself the son of an actor and director, it’s not surprising that his daughter Bryce would go into the family business. What is surprising is that a Howard came out not looking like a hideous bridge troll.  I think a good idea for a movie would be Bryce Dallas Howard using her hotness to trick guys into doing her, then the next morning Clint Howard bursts through their chest cavity like in Aliens.  Terrifying.

Long story short, Bryce Dallas Howard and her brother in law wrote a script, which her father’s production company will produce, and which her father might direct.  Long story re-lengthened:

“Originals” is an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma. The idea for “Originals” germinated a few years ago, when Howard, an actress from such films as “The Village” and “Spider-Man 3″, [decided to write] something that tackled the quarter-life crisis issues her contemporaries were dealing with.

She roped in Dane Charbeneau and the two have been working on the script for the past couple of years.  “Originals” also became more of family affair during the writing process, as Charbeneau began dating Howard’s sister Jocelyn. The two are now are engaged. [THR]

Ah yes, the quarter-life crisis, I know it well.  As soon as I turned 25 I said, “Daddy?  What big Hollywood movie should I have one of your friends put me in?”  Luckily, my dad just took a huge bong rip and fell asleep so I became a movie blogger.

Oh my gosh, you guys, this is so awesome I almost spilled espresso on my scarf when I read it: Sofia Coppola is doing a movie about the Chateau Marmont! I can’t wait to tell everyone at the food co-op!

The writer-director who shot her “Lost in Translation” at the Park Hyatt in Tokyo, will set her next film at the iconic Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. Stephen Dorff and Elle Fanning [yes, Dakota’s sister] will star in the Focus Features dramedy “Somewhere,” which Coppola penned. Story centers on a bad-boy actor stumbling through a life of excess at the Chateau Marmont. With an unexpected visit from his 11-year-old daughter, he is forced to reexamine his life. The filmmaker, who said she has been looking to make “an intimate story set in contemporary Los Angeles,” received permission to shoot at the hotel, which has become notorious in recent years as a popular address for tabloid-friendly celebs. [Variety]

I already know how this will go down: a collection of dreamy party scenes that will seem funny at first, but with a creeping sense of decadence.  Then, just when we start to really hone in on the protagonist’s pathos, he’ll share a long, meaningful glance with his daughter and the movie will end.  It will deny you catharsis, but that was, like, the point.  She really wanted to challenge the audience, you know?  I loved how she totally, like, resisted the temptation to cheapen the emotions with “plot.”  It wasn’t all “slick” and “Hollywood.”  She really nailed the subtleness and the nuance.

[picture source = lookatthisf*ckinghipster.com - thanks, Burnsy]

Nic Cage is suing Kathleen Turner for libel in London over allegations in her autobiography about his behavior on the set of Peggy Sue Got Married.  Among the allegations:

"Another co-star who left a lot to be desired was Nicolas Cage, who played my boyfriend and husband in Peggy Sue Got Married.  He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He’d come across a chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.”

God forbid she make him sound fun.  But wait, why is he suing in London?

British libel law differs dramatically from US libel law in that in Britain, the burden of proof lies not upon the plaintiff to demonstrate a libel, but upon the defendant to show that what is written is truthful or has "justification". Almost uniquely in British law, there is no need for a plaintiff to actively prove that a defendant is "in the wrong". Nor is there a requirement to prove malice. …Libel cases are still typically pursued mainly by the wealthy. [Source]

Neither of them are British, so how does that work – you just sue someone in whatever country’s easiest now?  In related news, I’m suing Jerry Bruckheimer in Botswana for shrinking my penis with his dreams.  The penalty is death by stoning.  And his chances aren’t looking good because I’ve gone to the trouble of buying a goat for everyone on the jury, which is perfectly legal in Botswana.  You can read about this and more in my upcoming book, "Africa: What the Fuck are They Thinking?"

Coppola says he doesn’t want to work with Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, or Jack Nicholson because they’ve become apathetic.

"I don’t feel that kind of passion to do a role and be great coming from those guys, because if it was there, they would do it! I mean, they’re all in a position to do it,"

Meanwhile, prior to the upcoming Youth Without Youth, Coppola hadn’t directed a film since The Rainmaker, in 1997.

"Pacino always wanted to do theater. He wanted to do `Peer Gynt.’ He wanted to do Shakespeare. Pacino will say, `Oh, I was raised next to a furnace in New York, and I’m never going to L.A.,’ but they all live off the fat of the land," Coppola says.
"I think if there was a role that De Niro was hungry for, he would come after it. I don’t think Jack would," he says. "Jack has money and influence and girls, and I think he’s a little bit like (Marlon) Brando, except Brando went through some tough times."
Nicholson — a front-row regular at the Oscars and at Los Angeles Laker games — "was always kind of a joker" and a Hollywood schmooze, says Coppola. [Yahoo]

Man, old people suck at talking trash. 

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Nic Cage is in talks to star in The Wrestler, an upcoming indie from screenwriter Robert Siegel.

The film, now in development at Darren Aronofsky’s Protozoa Pictures, centers on Randy "The Ram" Robinson, a 1980s-era star pro wrestler who has become a burnt-out shell of his former self. After he has a heart attack during a small-time match, a doctor tells him he could die if he fights again. In an effort to build a new life, Robinson takes a job at a deli, moves in with an aging stripper and tries to build a relationship with her son. But the prospect of a rematch with his old nemesis the Ayatollah proves too tempting to resist, even if it means risking his life.

Strrippers have children?  Weird, sometimes it’s almost as if they’re real people.  Nic Cage is also notorious for naming his son "Kal-El" when he was in talks to play Superman.  I can only hope that his casting means the next Cage spawn will be named "King Kong", "Yokozuna", "Hulk", or, God forbid, "André".

In a perfect world, this would be a documentary about the real-life Iron Sheik, who’s batshit loco. Video evidence after the jump.  Don’t miss it.

The Sheik goes nuts at a convention and slaps his promoter.

The Sheik goes nuts in an interview, and talks about Brian Blair, and how he should "F*ck his ass to make him humble."

Going nuts and drinking beer before another interview. "I’m not like Hollywood Fag Hogan."

Sheik on satellite radio: "F*CK THE RANDY SAVAGE!!! YOU ARE JEW SONOVABITCH!! ANY TIME YOU NEED MY CRACK, ANY TIME YOU NEED MY COKE, YOU COME MY ROOM! YOU ARE CHEAP JEW SONOVABITCH!"

Owen Wilson made his first public appearence since his suicide attempt at the L.A. premiere of The Darjeeling Limited last night. 

Director, frequent collaborator and former college roommate Wes Anderson led the warm reception, calling the actor "my best friend" as Wilson took the stage with costars Jason Schwartzman, Anjelica Huston, Adrien Brody and Natalie Portman.

"I’ve never made a movie without him," Anderson said. "And I hope I never have to." [Yahoo]

Unfortunately for Wes, this is the second movie of his Wilson hasn’t co-written.  I’m not sure if it would make Owen feel better, but an Anderson/Wilson collaboration would sure make me feel better – without him, Anderson’s movies are just pretty pictures.  Darjeeling could’ve basically been called This One Time I Went to India by Wes Anderson.  Come on, man, no one needs more Coppolas writing movies.  No one.  

As the French wine posters on my wall can attest, I’m all for pretty pictures.  But at some point you’ve got to learn that there’s more to life than ascots and moccasins.  Or so I’m told.   

Apple has the latest teaser for Youth Without Youth (Small Medium Large). Francis Ford Coppola is back, hopefully to show his daughter Sofia that filmmaking is about more than being rich and having a camera. 

Youth Without Youth stars Tim Roth as Dominic Matei, an aging professor of linguistics who survives a cataclysmic event to find his youth miraculously restored. Dominic’s physical rejuvenation is matched by a highly evolved intellect, which attracts the attention of Nazi scientists, forcing him into exile. While on the run, he reunites with his lost love, Laura, and works to complete his research into the origins of human language. When his research threatens Laura’s well being, Dominic is forced to choose between his life’s work and the great love of his life.

Whatever dude, as long as it’s better than Jack.  Having Nazis is always a good sign.  Still, I wish they’d make a Frenchtoast Without Guilt movie. OMG my thighs would be there on opening day LOL!   

IESB has five clips from The Darjeeling Limited, including one called "What Happened to Your Face?", which happens to be my favorite pickup line.   Probably the reason I’m always getting laid.

Welcome Aboard
We Haven’t Located us Yet
What Happened to Your Face
I Don’t Feel Good About Myself
Is That My Belt
He Escaped
Owen Wilson Interview

Anderson’s best movies (Rushmore and Royal Tenenbaums) were co-written by Owen Wilson, while Noah Baumbach co-wrote Life Aquatic – perhaps why Owen decided to get all emo and try to kill himself.  Always remember kids, up the river, not across the street. And if all else fails, use a gun. 

This time around the co-writers were Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola.  I don’t really know who Roman Coppola is, but I hate his guts and I hope he dies.

Petite Update: Hairy’s hilarious comment about pickup lines reminded me of this article in Radar Online.  My favorite? "Gather ’round if you love limericks." 

Francis Ford Coppola’s personal laptop was stolen in a robbery at his production office in Buenos Aires.  The laptop contained drafts of his upcoming film Tetro, which will star Matt Dillon.  Reps for Coppola say the screenplay was saved in other places.

Reps for the thieves say they were only trying to help.  They call themselves freedom fighters, and say that if Coppola releases another film like Jack, it may ruin the Godfather movies and Apocalypse Now for them forever.  They say they did it because they’re sick and tired of having to see movies with Nic Cage in them, just because he’s related to Francis.  They say they wished Sofia was present so they could shoot her in the face kidnap her and keep her from making movies.  They say her movies are tedious exercises in nothing and that she needs to learn something about life before she wastes everyone’s time again.  Yes, they said all of this.