UGO recently sat down for an interview with the leaders of the Insane Clown Posse, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, whom I’m half convinced are comedic geniuses.  If you’re wondering just what the Faygo the above video is, that’s Big Money Hustlas, the first (yes, there’s another) of Insane Clown Posse’s insane clown masterpieces.  They’re the some of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a woman pleasure herself with an elephant trunk while high on angel dust.  Yadda yadda yadda, a sequel is in the works. I hope Mama Gypsy’s out of prison by then so she can bring some space cakes.

UGO: So Big Money Rustlas is a prequel to Big Money Hustlas, it’s in the old west, what’s next? Do we got a prequel prequel or is it the future?

Violent J: The next idea is to do the fresh science fiction space movie. Yes, now we’re going into the future. Now we’re going to go into the [year] three thousand somethins.

Shaggy 2 Dope: Or it could be way way back in the day.  Star Wars.

UGO: A long long time ago with robots.

Violent J: Right, in a galaxy far far away, but we’re definitely going towards science fiction in the next one.

Big Money Martians?  Either way, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that they still paint their faces in the future.  …And in the way back, for that matter.  In related news, Village Voice finally published their reporter’s first-hand account of the Gathering of the Juggalos, an idea that every writer had but few of us followed up on.  Some of the highlights:

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Coolio’s filmography dates back to 1995 and includes appearances in such films as Leprechaun in the Hood, Ravedactyl, and Batman & Robin, which if nothing else, proves that a post about him is movie related.  Now that that’s out of the way, I’d like to direct your attention to Coolio’s new tattoo, which is both (1) Juggalo related and (2) misspelled.  F*ckin’ spellchecking your permanent body art, how does it work?  Miracles everywhere up in this bitch.

The body art was supposed to be an homage to ICP fans — who call themselves “juggalos.” Coolio’s tattoo reads “Jugalo Cool” — ironically one ‘G’ shy of actually being cool.

The “Angsta’s Paradise” rapper [oh, I see what you did there, TMZ... ] isn’t losing any sleep — telling TMZ the typo was done on purpose and he doesn’t plan to fix it. [TMZ]

Well duh, of course he misspelled it on purpose.  Having a correctly-spelled Juggalo tattoo would just be stupid.  (I’m not sure “Juggalo Cool” would have made that much more sense).  To recap, we now have a black president, and a black guy is getting misspelled Insane Clown Posse tattoos.  If we can just get Joaquin Phoenix’ rap album released and Channing Tatum to name his daughter something with multiple apostrophes (Rae’kwon’ica?), ebony and ivory will live together in retarded harmony.   (*starts humming ‘We Shall Overcome’*)

You guys remember when DMX did those movies Exit Wounds and Cradle 2 the Grave?  Good, because that’s all the justification I’m giving for reporting this story on a movie site.  It seems rapper DMX was scheduled to fight an actual MMA fight against Eric Martinez, who’s hard to research because he shares his name with about 50,000 dudes, 40 of whom I went to high school with.  This was to happen on the undercard of a match between Butterbean and Tank Abbott.  Let that sink for a second.  Sadly, DMX has pulled out because the promotion wouldn’t meet some of his conditions.  Namely, that the whole thing be faked for his benefit.

It seems as though DMX got cold feet and submitted an addendum to his contract that called for a guaranteed outcome. That outcome would peg him as the winner no matter what transpired during the “fight.” The “X” camp also insisted that their client is not a professional boxer but an entertainer, and that the event should (secretly) be held in good, clean fun.  [MMAMania]

But fear not, for Coolio is filling in.  The event is still scheduled to go forward December 12th and Coolio claims to be taking it seriously.  Sources say that makes one person, one person in the entire world.