Michel Gondry’s last few movies haven’t done so hot, but Eternal Sunshine is still probably my favorite of all time, and there will always be a soft spot in my heart for the eccentric Frenchman who painted me a watercolor of a tranny with a bottle up his ass (the tranny, I mean. I can neither confirm nor deny Gondry having a bottle in his ass). Gondry recently directed a commercial for a Japanese department store, complete with comically-oversized feet and excessive amounts of screaming Japanese men. The only question is whether this is more Japanese or French

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As part of their 30-year quest to convince the world that “cold” is a flavor, Coors Light hired famous action star/self-aware joke Jean-Claude Van Damme for their latest British commercial, which draws a parallel between drinking Coors Light and wearing frozen pants.  Sure, why not.

“Have you ever seen a man-penguin walk after an intense mating season? When a man’s pants freeze as rock solid as mine… Let me tell you, my friends, even that was nothing compared to the ice cold refreshment of Coors Light.”

Coors Light has been around since 1978.  That’s how long they’ve been swearing up and down that “Coors Light is cold.”  It’s cold-filtered, cold-brewed from the coldest of cold waters, then shipped cold in cans that tell you when they’re cold, the CEO sleeps in the cold, running the company with a managerial style best described as “cold”… we get it, Coors, your beer is f*cking cold.  33 years of assuring something you have no control over.  Imagine if Calvin Klein had spent the past three decades claiming their shirts had the nicest hangers.

"Eez cold."

[via Videogum]

Jude Law, who recently received the coveted “Deepest V Award” from Oompa Loompa University, stars in this commercial for Dior Homme directed by famous film director Guy Ritchie.  If I’m not mistaken, “homme” is a French word for “homo.”  Anyway, the five-minute ad appears to concern Law’s character planning a rendezvous with his lady friend, and the bulk of it takes the concept of “whispering sweet nothings” (emphasis on the ‘nothing’) to a ridiculous degree.  Sample dialogue:

“You know who I am. I know who you are. You know where I’ve been. I know where you’ve been.  That’s all I’m gonna tell you.  You know what I can do.  And I know what you can do. You’re gonna regret saying that.  Scared? Is that right?  Of course you are.  What?  Two of ya?  We’ll see.  Ooh.  When I find you.. and I will find you… you’re gonna wish you’d never been caught.”

I just looked at the v-neck picture while I was reading that and I got reeeeeally horny. Also, I thought it was odd that he was in that hotel room with the hot naked lady, but then he made her put her clothes on and leave so they could go look at a giant phallic symbol.

[via ThePlaylist]

As much as I liked Kenny Powers’ K-Swiss ad, I think Vitamin Water just drank their milkshake (can I still use that?) with this ad starring Gary Busey as Fantasy Football lawyer Norman Tugwater.  According to MediaBistro, it was created by a person and/or entity known as “Zambezi.”  I’d delve, but the comments on that site make me want to kill myself.  Gosh, who knew people who cared so much about advertising would be such assh*les?  Anyway, the commercial’s great, Busey makes everything better, and the Tim & Eric-style editing is the icing on the cake.

It’s funny to see Busey doing a commercial, because, as we learned in the last Frotcast, Gary Busey hates commercials, so much so that he makes restaurants mute the TV when they come on (true story). I like to imagine Gary Busey showering when suddenly, this commercial comes on.  You didn’t think he could hear the TV from in there, but next thing you know, Gary Busey runs out of the bathroom naked, carrying his briefcase full of highlighters and pocket change, threatening to eat your spleen like a banana, when suddenly, he realizes the commercial is his.  “HOW’D THEY GET ME IN THE TV?!”  he’d demand to know, and you’d have to feed him a coyote to get him to calm down.  This will make you big again, Gary, like Alice in Wonderland.

Friday Free for All is the time of the week I reserve for all the things I really wanted to post that might not be strictly movie-related.  So please, do not ask me “Dude, how is this movie related?” Or I will punch you. Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com, but only if they don’t suck.

If you don’t know who Bangs is, you need to drop everything right now (EVEN IF YOU ARE HOLDING A BABY) and watch this video .  In a subculture that’s often accused of misogyny, criminality, homophobia, and unchecked materialism, Sudanese-born rapper Bangs is an oasis of politeness and wanting to buy you popcorn.

Bangs recently parlayed his level of awesome internet fame into a Honda commercial in his adopted homeland of Australia (he’s lived in Melbourne since 2004) — hence the multi-colored Monopoly money and steering wheel on the right side.  The theme of the commercial (“How much rap can you fit into a Jazz?”) also exemplifies the charming, characteristic Australian awkwardness with black culture.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense (chicks and gold chains equals… rap?).  But the central conceit of the plot is forgiven when we get to hear Bangs sing a rap song about the Honda Jazz.  It’s hard to choose, but I think my favorite line was:

“10 cups holders in this car
so your drink be by your side
never far.”

If you don’t like Bangs, you have no soul.

[via Bossip]