Well. folks, it’s Super Bowl Monday, and Comments of the Week time, so let us all shake off our hangovers using your puns, inside jokes, and racist wordplay. It’s the FilmDrunk way. Leading the way with three votes, it was a tie at the top, between Stinky Pete in Brooklyn Decker has two movies opening the same day:

Stinky Pete says: She should ask her husband, I bet he knows how to deal with two Brooklyn Decker openings on the same night.

And Donkey Hodey in Channing Tatum showed Rachel McAdams his fake penis:

Donkey Hodey: C-Tates works in the Mad-Props Department.

So congrats, Stinky Pete and Donkey Hodey. If either of you don’t already have five FilmDrunk shirts, email me. See below for this week’s honorable mentions.

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It’s week three of me allowing you to choose your own Comments of the Week winners (just copy and paste your favorite comments throughout the week into the comments section below, and use the reply function to vote for your favorites). And here’s what you chose.

From Dane Cook offers to treat TJ Miller and the AV Club to expectant mother’s massage:

Moose: Expectant Mother’s Massage is code for hitting every stair on the way down.

So yeah, that’s what you guys chose. A comment about throwing pregnant women down stairs. The sad thing? It probably would’ve been my choice too. So Moose, send me your address and shirt size. For the rest of you, you can still buy FilmDrunk shirts here. Got the new design in green and red, almost every size still available.

And here are your honorable mentions.

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Folks, I know how broken up you all are about that mouth-breathing dummy heading to the Super Bowl on a technicality, but enough! It’s time to let it go already! And get back doing the things we love, like Comments of the Week! I told you I was going to start making you guys vote for the winner — paste your favorite comments into the comments section below throughout the week to nominate them, and use the “reply” function to vote for your favorites — and this is what you chose.

[From Woman with two vaginas spurns million dollar porn offer] Stinky Pete says: Just like her to be holier than thou.

So congratulations, Stinky Pete, send me your shirt size and color preference. (The rest of you can still buy shirts here, I’ve still got every size available).

Runner up:

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Pictured: A happy Laremy with his FilmDrunk shirt. Now available in red!

It’s that time of the week again, folks, when I reward you for helping make FilmDrunk the funniest comments section on the internet by handing out shirts with a picture of a dog wearing a birthday hat. It makes complete sense when you think about it. Now that the comments section has a handy “reply” function, I was thinking that, in addition to copy and pasting your favorite comments in the comments section below to nominate, you could also use the reply button to vote for your favorite. It seems a little less dictatorial than me just choosing my favorite every week, though I do look sharp in this beret.

Based on number of votes, here’s this week’s winner:

[From James Franco calls Andy Serkis the Che Guevara of chimps]

Ragnarok: I really don’t think we can make a call on this until we see him act out a scene an ape has already done. I propose we have Serkis crouch on a log, stick his finger up his butt, sniff it, and fall off. Only then could we make a claim to the true level of his ability.

So congrats, Ragna, send me your address and shirt color preference.

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Well, it’s that time of the week again, the time when I celebrate you, the frequently-funnier-than-me FilmDrunk comments section. As always, use the comments section of this post below to nominate for next week (via simple copy and pasting). This week’s winner gets a spankin’ new, two-color FilmDrunk shirt (design by Marc at Encompus) — now available in Kelly Green AND red! You can buy one here. I actually found a cheaper way to mail them, so I lowered the shipping costs. OWNING A FILMDRUNK SHIRT IS NOW CHEAPER THAN EVER! YOU’D HAVE TO BE A RETARDED EUNUCH NOT TO BUY ONE!

And now for your winner. If we were counting cumulatively, Chino Moreno would no doubt have locked up her millionth CotW prize, but for best single comment, I had to give the nod to The Jersey Devil in Clint Eastwood Befriends a Squirrel Named Lola.

The Jersey Devil says:
Clint: *aims rifle* GET OFF MY LAWN !!
Lola: Squeak! Squeak, squeak!
Clint: No, not you, Lola, I’m talkin’ to that fat-ass gook bitch over there.
Kim Kardashian: Are you talking to me, creepy old guy? Do I know you?
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Clint: Here, Lola, have another peanut.

I’m a sucker for the absurd, and that was pretty high level. In fact, I’d pay to see that stretched into a full-length piece of Clint Eastwood-in-Gran-Torino/squirrel fan fiction. But it’s true, I always say that.

Here are your honorable mentions:

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