Many of you have been asking the results of our Comments of the Year voting, and I meant to announce them sooner, it’s just that the new batch of shirts that I ordered were supposed to be here a few days ago, and they still aren’t here. I was hoping to have physical shirts here for the winners, but oh well, I guess the graphic will have to do. The new batch is two-color print, much like you see above, and in addition to our normal Kelly green, we’ll also have some on a red shirt. I’ll update you guys on where you can buy them as soon as I get the actual shirts.

In the meantime, as I said before, the Comments of the Year winner is receiving a $50 dollar gift card to Amazon, and the next five are getting shirts. To everyone’s credit, almost every comment got at least one vote, and pretty much all of them would’ve been deserving. But fine, I’ll quit padding your egos and tell you who got the most votes….

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I debated even doing a post like this this year, it just sounds so self-congratulatory. And I worry our little self-referential circle jerk isn’t exactly going to win me new readers. But at the same time, hardly a day goes by that I don’t read a comment on one of my posts that’s ten times more clever than whatever I thought of, and likewise, half the compliments I get for this site tell me how funny my commenters are (way more than I get complimented for my actual writing, that’s for sure). I don’t know whether to take credit for that or be offended, but whether I did anything to deserve it or not, the FilmDrunk comments section is one of the few comments sections on the web (especially in the realm of movies) not dominated by people competing for most righteous indignation, or most vitriolic argument over esoteric minutia.

Therefore, I not only wanted to give thanks, but also prizes. Below I’ve compiled the winners (or winners) of every Comments of the Week this year. Place your votes for your favorite in the comments section (make sure to specify name and number, a couple weeks had multiple winners). The winner will receive a $50 Amazon Gift Card, and I’ve got FilmDrunk shirts for the top five. They’re two-color now! (Thanks again to Marc at Encompus for his design). They haven’t physically arrived yet, but as soon as they do (Tuesday, I’m told), I’ll update you on where you can buy one.

So GO VOTE! And I hope this goes without saying, but don’t cheat. Vote for one, and don’t create a billion accounts to vote for yourself, we’ll be able to tell. It’s tough to choose, but I think my favorite was “that clip was so British my pack of smokes just started buttf*cking,” but don’t let that sway you.

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I thought about using a different banner image for this week’s comments of the week, but it’s hard to go wrong with Pugboat, so I’m letting it ride. I’M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS PUGBOAT! MY WORD IS THE LAW!

This week’s winner was an easy choice. We posted the trailer for Romeo and Juliet XXX, and we always expect some good porn/Shakespeare mash-ups, but this sonnet from commenter Jabask was simply inspired.

Jabask
Shall I compare thee to a gaping ass?
Thou art more lovely and more tight:
Rough slaps do shake the booty’s class
But thy retain a pristine sphincter’s bite
Sometime too loose the eye of brown becomes,
And lover’s dance at risk of prolapse;
And every fist swallowed, fingers and thumbs,
As the sound of loneliness gently faps
But thy eternal bounce shall not fade
Nor succumb to gravity and travel south;
Nor shall the taste of glory be waylaid
On journeys ashes to ashes, ass to mouth

So long as men can breathe, or butts can fart,
So long lives these cheeks, now spread ‘em apart.

And speaking of literary parody…

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That’s right, it’s comments of the week time again. Comments of the Week is a sort of greatest hits album compiled from the previous week’s comments section. (The pug picture represents my idea of what I wish the comments section reminded me of, but let’s face it, you guys aren’t that cuddly). Choosing a winner is always tough for me (and we should have shirts to give away for the winner again soon), but I gave a slight edge to Jessolido for the way he rendered Gary Busey in the Gary Busey wants to buttplug some cows so they don’t fart piranhas onto him post. It seemed, I don’t know, accurate:

Jessolido says: When Gary Busey starts a sentence with “Hey girl”, he does so because he believes the person he’s talking to is actually a bale of hay walking our Earth disguised as a woman.

Jessolido says: Upon finishing the interview, Busey asked “What’s the time limit on parking on this street? I left my ostrich down there with enough tacos to last him 2 hours – but that idgit probably ate ‘em all as soon as I left. HORSE HOCKEY!… How much is busfare?

But I could be way off base. Here are your honorable mentions:

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It’s so nice to see people of all races and creeds coming together to kick the crap out of each other for two-dollar waffle makers at WalMart. I lost a great uncle in the Waffle Riots of aught six. |buzzfeed|

MORNING LINKS
Women Be Tramplin’: The Most Insane Black Friday Moments You Will Ever See |UPROXX|

RIP, PLESSY PERKINS. Frotcast 75: Koi Calls, Thanksgiving Movie Guide, Seagal Character or Porn Star |Film Drunk|

Ten Skits That Prove ‘The Muppet Show’ Was For Adults More Than Kids |Warming Glow|

Gifts Guys Won’t Be Able to Get Away With Anymore by Next Black Friday (Thanks to Technology) |Gamma Squad|

Rebecca Grant Vs. Erin Andrews: The Worst And Sexiest Feud Of All Time |With Leather|

Lab-raised beagles see sunlight for the first time. |TheDailyWhat|

“Streets Of Music” – Review Of 9th Wonder’s The Wonder Years |Smoking Section|

Adult Swim’s Internet Treasures – Turkey Day Edition |Adult Swim|

Kardashian Kristmas Special is Kancelled, thank Khrist. |TheSuperficial|

This lady is terrified of cats. I can’t quit you, silly phobias. |Videogum|

Lariya Daniels sucks at swimsuits. |GorillaMask|

7 film and TV characters getting pepper sprayed. |ScreenJunkies|

5 ways to celebrate cyber Monday. |HolyTaco|

A Jason Segel career retrospective, with Jason Segel. |Nerve|

Ghostbusters set to Inception music. |DAPS|

The Jon Hamm Problem: You Can’t Be Handsome And Funny. Pick One. |Pajiba|

Top 10 Reasons Why Thanksgiving Eve Is the Best Bar Night of the Year |BroBible|

Picture via AnimalsWithCasts

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