Greetings, Filmdrunkards. I know that with the holidays approaching, today is a travel day for many of us (speaking for myself, I must travel to Antioch to lay a bladder of calf’s blood at the feet of the Crone of the Hill, as part of my beliefs), but I was still planning a few posts for you guys. I’ve got a couple reviews coming if I can de-snot my nose long enough to write them, but in the meantime, enjoy this infographic of every Batman suit ever (full version below). I was confused as to how there were so many, when I only remember like six movies and one TV show. But I guess there are also these things called comic… books? Am I saying that right? Hmm, that sounds wrong.

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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance opens February 2012, and Sony has just released the first batch of publicity stills. I feel like if you polled a diverse cross section of adults on whether making a sequel to Ghost Rider is a terrible idea, that would be about as close as you could come to a perfect consensus. And yet, with Crank‘s Neveldine and Taylor behind the cameras and Nic Cage back as the lead, there could be a perfect storm of pure batsh*ttery brewing that connoisseurs of ridiculosity like myself would be loathe to miss. Certainly, at the least, it’s an early favorite for Armond White’s favorite movie of 2012. You may recall that he once said of Neveldine and Taylor: “Neveldine-Taylor stand so lonely on the culture’s edge that their au courant ingenuity seems absolutely avant-garde when compared to standard box-office formula.” Personally I find his fin de siecle Manichean verisimilitude somewhat disquieting, but I can’t say I disagree.

Co-director Brian Taylor offered a reminder of their star’s collaborative approach: “Nic trusts us. He was actually one of the guys we wanted for Crank, but we was out of our price range. Now we’ve got him and he’s absolutely fearless. You invite him to go there, he’ll go there. He just needs to be invited – like a vampire.” [From Empire's set visit]

They wanted Nic Cage, and ended up with Jason Statham as a consolation prize. I… I’m having a hard time processing that. I may have to go lie down for a few minutes.

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Thor 2 doesn’t have a script or a director, but it does have a release date, because that’s just how Marvel rolls, bro. They grip it and rip it, they live life with a lot of flair. July 26th, 2013 is when it’s set to go down, with Chris Hemsworth back to star but Kenneth Branagh out as director.

A sequel had already been a high priority at Marvel, with Don Payne, one of the scribes on the first film, already taking a stab at the story.
Disney will also unspool “Iron Man 3″ on May 3, 2013, setting up a release sked similar to this year’s: “Thor” [which] bowed in May, to be followed by “Captain America: The First Avenger” in July. [Variety]

Kenneth Branagh won’t be returning as helmer. Branagh, who directed the first film and watched it gross $437 million worldwide with a few territories still playing out, will likely be involved in some producing capacity. His exit was “mutual and amicable,” I’m told. [Deadline]

Iron Man 3 has Shane Black directing, which should be exciting in theory, but f*ck, I’m just a little superhero weary. I never thought I’d get tired of handsome young men prancing about masks and tights for my amusement, but here we are. I may be in the minority in that I liked Thor. It wasn’t a great movie, but it was a cute movie. The acting was great, the Viking-out-of-water comedy was surprisingly enjoyable, and the brother drama was different, at least (the Warriors Three were completely pointless, but there you go). I credit most of that to Kenneth Branagh.  Contrary to the conventional wisdom, someone who knows story is always better than the glorified graphic designers they usually hire. So it’ll be interesting to see whether Marvel decides to go the Joe Johnston/Brett Ratner route, or if they hire someone… good.

Here’s a poster of The Avengers assembling from the Las Vegas Licensing International Expo. The sure-to-not-be-a-disaster Marvel project written and directed by Joss Whedon is currently shooting and scheduled to be released May 4th, 2012. As you can see, it features Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye, an animated version of Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk, Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Chris Evans as Captain America, and of course, the team’s most valuable member, Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow.

“Mr. President! The Chinese are invading!  What do we do?”

“SEND IN THE CHICK WITH BIG TITS WHO KNOWS JIU-JITSU!”

[Source]

As part of his ongoing bid to become the nerd Oprah, Kevin Smith is taking on yet another project between weight struggles, most recently a reality show set inside his New Jersey comic book store, Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash.  Here’s the casting call:

He’s not looking for actors, he’s looking for real people who live and breathe [and wheeze -Ed] the comic book lifestyle. Must be funny outgoing and have a knowledge and passion for comics, superheroes, movie memorabilia and everything that goes with it.

Hey, pal, if I wanted to see loosely-strung together footage of people blathering about comic books with no regard for visual composition, I’d watch Clerks.

Last night he tweeted that the show would be on AMC, which recently announced plans for a stronger reality-show lineup. The pitch for comics fans also included a request for collectors. “It’s Pawn Stars for Fanboys, and if you have something to sell/trade/or value, we want you to bring it to us!,” the post added. [EW]

ANOTHER SHOW ABOUT PEOPLE SELLING USED GOODS?  MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!  Now I finally have something to DVR when I’m done watching Pawn Stars, Hardcore Pawn on TruTV, Antiques Roadshow on PBS, Auction Hunters on Spike, Auction Packed on Nat Geo, Auction Kings on Discover, American Pickers and American Restoration on History, and What the Sell? on TLC!  And this time with a clientele of nerdy shut-ins from suburbia?  This sounds like pure gold!  My only concern is that by recruiting our young, our able-bodied youths, trolling craigslist for reality show casting calls and dreaming of a career in graphic art sales (as well as “living and breathing the comic book lifestyle.” I mean, nothing against people who read comic books, but if you consider that a “lifestyle,” we probably couldn’t hang out), we’re endangering ourselves by shrinking our pool of future elites, our engineers and political leaders. I fear we may someday look back on this as a grave a mistake the likes of Ferdinand and Isabella’s expulsion of Spain’s Jews in 1492.

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