The sequel to Stomp the Yard, Stomp the Yard: Homecoming, is coming to DVD September 21st, and I can’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t have gone straight to DVD had they gone with the more obvious title, Stepbrothers.  All that aside, in this clip, Columbus Short gives one of the most inspirational performances in a film about fraternity step dancing I have ever seen. It would make a worthy edition to the Inspirational Movie Speeches compilation .

We fight.  WE FIGHT.  When the chips are down, we fight.  If you could stand together right here, right now, as a family?  Ain’t nothin stoppin us.  If you could have enough courage to look past what’s wrong, and see the value in what’s right?  Win or lose, we win.

TODAY… IS OUR.. INDEPEN DANCE DAY!  FREEEEEDOOOOMMM! NOW LET’S GO GREASE THE TREADS OF OUR TANKS WITH THE BASTARDS’ JHERI CURL! (*does head spin, ices bro*)  I don’t know how black fraternities do it, but their version of date rape sure seems to involve a lot of complex foreplay.  Wait a second, is that a 20-year-old black dude wearing a Grateful Dead shirt?  Is that cool again? I’m so confused right now.

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In Armored, director Nimrod Antal takes us into the fast stakes, high paced world of the armored car guard, which apparently operates like a fraternity for grown-ups, much like the fire department or the cast of Stomp.  But hold on to your girdle, grandma, because before you know it, there’s a heist plot.  In a movie about armored cars?  No effing way!  Of course, things don’t quite go according to plan, because if they did it’d be an instructional video not a movie.  Instead, the sh’t hits the fan Very Bad Things-style, and that sucks because no one likes a sh’t-covered fan, least of all MATT DILLON.  Trust me on this one, bros.

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I’m not one who likes to brag about being right because I’m almost always wrong, but I think you’ll have to agree, I was pretty close this time! Here’s what I said about Lethal Weapon 5 last time I wrote about it:

You know the new cops would just be Nick Cannon and some squinty white guy like Josh Hartnet or Taters Channing or whatever his name is.

Today, the rumor is that Lethal Weapon 5 is on the fast track, and that Columbus Short is up for the role of Murtaugh’s son.  See how close I was? Okay, I know Columbus Short is not Nick Cannon, Columbus Short was in Stomp the Yard and Nick Cannon was in Drumline.  But come on, Drumline, Stomp the Yard – all those movies look exactly the same!

Wait, hold on, that came out wrong…  Crap, I’m gonna get letters about this, aren’t I.