HA, ‘FURRY VENGEANCE’. WITH BRENDAN FRASER.

01.27.09 Written by Vince Mancini

From the director of College Road Trip with Martin Lawrence and Raven Simone comes Furry Vengeance, starring Brendan Fraser.

Fraser will play a real estate developer whose new housing subdivision pushes far into a pristine part of the Oregon wilderness, pitting the developer against a band of angry critters. [Variety]

Gosh, I hope the critters will be CGI!  Seriously though, a movie called “Furry Vengeance” and that’s the plot? Some fat perverts in Dubuque will be really disappointed when they hear about this.  Also these guys.

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CRAP RULES CRAP-DOMINATED MARKET

03.10.08 Written by Vince Mancini

A white guy with dreads will NEVER be a hero

10,000 B.C. had the number one B.O. this weekend, grossing $35.7 million, which was only slightly lower than most analysts’ estimates.  By comparison, 300 took in $71 million on the same weekend last year.  Advantage: things that don’t suck.

Meanwhile, Semi Pro fell 62% on its second weekend with $5.8 million, and Martin Lawrence’s College Road Trip made $14.5 million.  "That’s so Raven!" said industry analysts.

In any case, none of the movies out right now are remotely interesting, and my time would be better spent planning a tea party with my Bruce Greenwood-inspired RealDoll than discussing any of them.  Sitting near a busy intersection this weekend was obviously more interesting than watching movies.

[Source

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EBONY AND RV-ORY

11.20.07 Written by Vince Mancini

Check out the new trailer for College Road Trip, with Martin Lawrence and Raven Simone.

Ever wondered what it’d be like if RV was more… urban? Had more… flava? Well wonder no more, because College Road Trip is like RV but with hip-hop style and all the maxin’ and relaxin’ and shootin’ b-ball outside of the school and getting jiggy and forshizzle.

Actually it’s just like RV but with Martin Lawrence instead of Robin Williams.  It’s all of the annoying manic-ness with none of the sunburn or backhair. Though we must warn you, this version does come with an oily anal discharge.  And Raven Simone.  And hold the phone, was that Donny Osmond?  

Let’s just hope College Road Trip lives up to the praise garnered by its "less-hip" cousin, of which Roger Ebert wrote, “There is nothing much I disliked but little to really recommend.”  With praise like that, it’s no wonder they remade it – it’s cinematic dynamite! …er Dyn-O-MIITE!

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