Any film where Colin Farrell karate chops a midget I’ll watch out of principle, but In Bruges was pretty good to boot. It was written and directed by Martin McDonagh, and now CBS Films is in talks to distribute his latest, Seven Psychopaths. Needless to say, it sounds awesome.

The film reunites McDonagh with his In Bruges star Colin Farrell, who plays a screenwriter who struggles to find the handle on his script, called Seven Psychopaths. He gets drawn into the dognapping escapades of his friends (played by Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken). Once the beloved Shih Tzu owned by a psychopathic gangster goes missing, the screenwriter finds himself fueled with all the drama he needs for his screenplay, if he can stay alive long enough to write it all down. The film’s produced by Graham Broadbent and Peter Czernin, with Tessa Ross set as executive producer. CBS Films executive vice president Scott Shooman will oversee it when it shoots in Los Angeles this fall. [Deadline]

Yep, Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken, and last we heard, Mickey Rourke was also in it (MICKEY ROURKE F*CKING LOVES TINY DOGS!). Not only would I watch the ever-living hell out of that movie, I’d also like to commission a velvet painting in the style of “Dogs Playing Poker,” with those guys as the dogs, and a midget waiter walking around with a platter of cocaine and a revolver in his belt in case things go south. I would hang that on my wall, possibly my tombstone.

I tried to find a good image of David Tennant, but I liked this screen grab too much.

Over the weekend, the cast and crew of Fright Night, the remake of the classic 1985 horror film of the same name, hosted a panel at Comic Con, which I’m starting to think is a pretty important event. I wish they advertised it better. Either way, fans were treated to an exclusive extended clip, and to multiply the geek factor immensely, David Tennant set the clip up. Tennant plays supposed vampire expert and TV host Peter Vincent in the new film, but he’s better known as The Doctor from BBC’s Doctor Who series.

In the clip, Vincent is confronted by Punky Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) for the first time, as he needs help in stopping his vampire neighbor, played by Colin Farrell. At least he thinks he’s a vampire. He could just be a lawyer. Ahhh, that’s some good legal humor right there.

Clip after the jump, and there’s plenty of David Tennant in tight leather pants for all you female Doctor Who fans. All two of you.

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"OI, QUAID! Start da fookin' reactor, ya styoopid coont!"

Len Wiseman’s Total Recall remake starring Colin Farrell is set for August of next year, and in their latest issue, EW just published the first photo. So I guess now we know what a single frame of that might look like (*dusts off hands, folds hands behind head, leans back in chair, waits for profits to roll in*).  Last we heard about this project, the plot, based on Phillip K. Dick’s “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale”, was now about a conflict between the “nation-states” of Euroamerica and New Shanghai, and may not involve Mars or space at all. No word on that in the latest piece, but they do say it will be less “jokey.” Phew, thank God. Hey, could you tone down some of the action while you’re at it? The original seemed awful rambunctious.

In the magazine, Farrell says “the tone will be much less jokey” than Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s 1990′s sci-fi hit. He says, “there’s not as much tongue-in-cheek” and that he wouldn’t feel comfortable delivering lines like ‘Consider dat a divorce!’” [TheFilmStage]

Really? Yet he had no qualms about karate chopping a midget in the neck and saying, “Back off, sharty!”? This seems like a strange thing to mention. I’m just saying, if I was doing a remake of Total Recall, that was no longer set in space, with a director who’d done two Underworld movies and a Die Hard sequel, “Wait, but will Colin Farrell be able to match Arnold Schwarzenegger’s natural flair for comedy?” probably wouldn’t even make the top 10 on my list of concerns.

File this one under “Guys I would kill to party with.”  So Martin McDonagh, writer/director of In Bruges, possibly the most unique action-comedy of the last ten years, is preparing his next film, Seven Psychopaths.  The Christ-like Megan Ellison is financing, and so far the cast includes Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken, Mickey Rourke, and Sam Rockwell (homeless Paul Rudd!).  No midgets have yet been cast, but if craft services provides the booze and pills, I’m sure one will just eventually show up.

Story follows a screenwriter (Farrell) struggling for inspiration for his script, “Seven Psychopaths,” who gets drawn into the dog kidnapping schemes of his oddball friends (Rockwell and Walken).  This take a turn for the worse when a gangster’s (Rourke) mutt goes missing. [Variety]

Hmm, well that sounds pretty good.  And by that I mean I wrote this after a noise like a whistling tea kettle escaped my diaphragm and I passed out in anticipatory ecstasy on a pile of cats.  Speaking of which, is it weird that I imagine Sam Rockwell constantly being awoken by stray animals?  He has a real a-goat-licked-my-forehead-this-morning vibe about him.

[Christopher Walken in 1955. Source]

Few projects have people of my generation crying foul faster than the Len Wiseman (Live Free or Die Hard) remake of Total Recall starring Colin Farrell.  But the truth is, we’re getting older and the sooner we get used to being overrun by these Bieber-obsessed autotune toddlers from the Disney Channel, the easier it will be.  Another disturbing fact: if Total Recall (1990) was a person, it’d be old enough to drink legally (!!!).

Anyway, today’s news is that Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad will be playing the bad guy in the remake (Yay!), but that’s not the weird part:

The original 1990 movie was based on a Philip K. Dick story, “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale.” The film  followed a man haunted by a recurring dream of journeying to Mars who buys a literal dream vacation from a company called Rekall Inc., which sells implanted memories. The man comes to believe he is a secret agent and ends up on a Martian colony, where he fights to overthrow a despotic ruler controlling the production of air.

The new story involves nation states Euromerica and New Shanghai, with Douglas Quaid (Farrell) a factory worker in the latter who begins to believe he is a spy, although he doesn’t know for which side.  Cranston would play Vilos Cohaagen, the leader of Euromerica who, under the cover of protecting his people, is secretly readying an invasion of New Shanghai. [THR]

Wait, so instead of being set on a Martian colony with freaky-looking aliens…

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