"I'm telling you, it does exist. Just a couple inches inside, then curl back towards yourself and feel for the fleshy thing."

After the jump, I’ve got the first trailer for Killing Them Softly, from Chopper/Assassination of Jesse James director Andrew Dominik, starring Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, James Gandolfini, and Richard Jenkins. Oh, and Slaine, the fat Boston rapper who was in The Town. Anyway, everyone loved it at Cannes, so if you don’t like it, you probably aren’t doing enough cocaine just don’t have a European sensibility. It actually looks pretty great, but it’s fitting that James Gandolfini is in it, because I feel like we saw a very similar plot in a Sopranos episode.

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COOOOOGAAAAAAAN!

I don’t usually get too excited by promotional stills from upcoming movies, but in case you’re interested, here’s a first look Brad Pitt in Cogan’s Trade. OMG, he’s wearing a necklace! Cogan’s Trade is the third film from director Andrew Dominik, who previously did Chopper and the Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Casey Affleck. Cogan just wrapped shooting in New Orleans, with Pitt, James Gandolfini, and Sam Shepard. The film is based on a 1974 novel by George V. Higgins, which sounds like a Bawston stawry about cawps and rawbbahs.  New Orleans doesn’t seem like a very good stand-in for Boston, but I guess that’s the magic of… uh… Hollywood.  Are we still calling it that?  When’s the last time someone actually shot a movie there?

Cogan’s Trade is the top-notch crime novel rated by the New Yorker as the “best” from “the Balzac of the Boston underworld.” Crackling dialogue, mordant humor, and unremitting tension drive the suspenseful stakes of the game higher in Boston’s precarious underworld of small-time mobsters, crooked lawyers, and political gofers as George V. Higgins, the writer who boiled crime fiction harder, tracks Jackie Cogan’s career in a gangland version of law and order. For Cogan is an enforcer; and when the Mob’s rules get broken, he gets hired to ply his trade—murder. In the gritty, tough-talking pages of Higgins’s 1974 national best-seller, Cogan is called in when a high-stake card game under the protection of the Mob is heisted. [Amazon, picture via SlashFilm]

HEY, TAWMMY, AH YOU GONNA READ MY FACKIN’ NAWVEL?  It gawt rated “best” by the New Yawkah.

The New Yawkah?  Sounds queah.