Here I was in the middle of writing a subtle, intensively-researched, impassioned piece about the health care crisis, when all of a sudden this new clip from Ong-Bak 2 shows up in my inbox. As you can see, the scene is that the black knight from Monty Python and some guys in masks are having a knife-sex party up in a tree when Tony Jaa decides to interrupt… WITH FISTS! AND KICKS! AND KNEES AND ELBOWS AND BONE BREAKS TO THE CHEST PARTS! Holy crap, nothing gets me fired up like new Tony Jaa clips. In fact, I just headbutted my coffee mug and beat my roommate to death with his own cat. Crap, I gotta go guys, I should call someone about this.
“THIS CHICK SEEMS FEISTY.”
Opens October 23rd in theaters, already available on OnDemand
Jason Reitman directs movies about every two years, which seems about right for staying relevant without overextending yourself. This is the first clip from Up in the Air, his follow-up to Juno and Thank You for Smoking (the rare movie adaptation that’s actually better than the book). It’s based on a 2001 Walter Kirn novel about a guy on a personal quest to rack up a million frequent flyer miles. In the clip, George Clooney and Vera Farmiga talk miles, upgrades, and the latest hotel trend — an atmosphere that is “faux-homey,” or “fauxmey.” The term seems unnecessary as it relates to travel, but “faux-homey”? I think we’ve finally found the politically correct replacement for “wigger.” Used in a sentence: I went to Ben Lyons’ and Danny Masterson’s DJ show last night, and man can those fauxmeys spin!
I’ve been pretty vocal about hating everything about George Romero’s latest movie, Survival of the Dead, from the stupid title to the idea of yet another George Romero zombie movie. But after seeing this clip, I acknowledge the possibility that I’ve been wrong. I thought this was a lot funnier than anything I’ve seen from Zombieland, which is trying a lot harder. Get it? The Asian guy can’t stop catching zombies! Asians be fishin’ y’all.
[via CHUD]
Cormac McCarthy’s The Road is a hell of a book, the kind of thing you wish they’d make more movies out of instead of crap like The Lovely Bones. It’s about a man and his son (who never get names) wandering through a post-apocalyptic wasteland of cannibals and roving bands of outlaws. Though so far, reviews of the John Hillcoat-directed movie adaptation have been sort of mixed. I wasn’t a huge fan of Hillcoat’s last movie (The Proposition), but Viggo Mortensen is perfect casting. That dude has looking like the survivor of an apocalyptic cataclysm down pat.
It also stars Kodi Smit-McPhee as the boy. I don’t know much about this kid other than that he clearly has a couple of a-holes for parents. Really? It wasn’t enough to stick him with a hyphen, you also had to make his first name a misspelled version of crappy name to begin with it? AND you put an ‘I’ at the end? Was he supposed to dot that with a heart? You only had nine months to come up with something he wouldn’t have to drag around like wheelbarrow full of cement his entire life, so well done. Might as well have named him Stealmylunchmoney McPussy. Then again, that was my nickname, and look how well I turned out.
In this latest promo clip from Mike Judge’s Extract, Judge goes back to the well for the characters that made him famous, Beavis and Butthead. I was about Beavis and Butthead’s age when Beavis and Butthead came out, so I’m probably guilty of the same kind of romantic nostalgia I make fun of sci-fi fans for all the time when I say this, but five seconds in I was thinking, “Oh man, remember Beavis and Butthead? Beavis and Butthead were awesome.” Anyway, nostalgia aside (I hope), props (or kudos, or another word that doesn’t sound as lame as props or kudos) to Mike Judge for being able to skip to the good parts of his own career. This wouldn’t have been nearly as funny or likable if he’d used King of the Hill. God that show sucked. Though I think it taught us all the valuable lesson that fat pussies don’t make good lead characters. A lot of people will try bring up Fat Pussy Hunter 7 as a counter argument, but in that case I would argue it was more the mcguffin.
