Okay, okay, so he didn’t use those exact words, but it was pretty close. From USA Today:

You know, everybody is an overnight expert. They think, “what was the takeaway lessons from Avatar? Oh you should make more money with 3D.” They ignore the fact that we natively authored the film in 3D, and decide that what we accomplished in several years of production could be done in an eight week (post-production 3D) conversion with Clash of the Titans.

Q: How long does it take?

A: They’re converting Clash of the Titans in eight weeks. But I’m guessing six months to a year to do it right.

Snap.  Pretty sure he just released the Kraken all over your face.  Cameron was in New York to film a Black Eyed Peas concert in 3D, which, when played back, looks just like the eye of Sauron, but he also discussed some other 3D stuff, including the planned release of Titanic in 3D, and a possible theatrical release of an extended cut of Avatar.  I thought it seemed pretty extended already, but…

[on Titanic] We’re targeting spring of 2012 for the release (of a 3D version of Titanic), which is the 100 year anniversary of the sailing of the ship.

[on Avatar re-release to coincide with the Blu-ray] The wildcard is that we might be re-releasing the movie this fall.  It’s kind of gotten stomped out (in theaters) because of Alice in Wonderland. The word we’re getting back from exhibitors is we probably left a couple of hundred million dollars on the table as a result. The question is the appetite still going to be there after the summer glut of movies. We’re going to assess that. We’re talking about maybe adding in additional footage and doing something creative.

Left a couple hundred million on the table?  Yeesh. My sources tell me last time James Cameron did that, he paid a Thai hooker to go back and pick it up with her vagina.

Our friend Awkward Josh Horowitz over at MTV recently sat down for a long interview with James Cameron, who, as it turns out, is actually the voice of reason on this ridiculous 3D craze.

“There’s an evolution, and people are starting to not accept inferior forms, which is good.  But it’s typical of Hollywood to get it wrong. We do a film that’s natively authored in 3D — it’s shot in 3D.  So they assume from the success of that, that they can just turn movies into 3D.  In 8 weeks.  You know, just throw a switch on 3D and that’s gonna work somehow.  If you wanna make a movie in 3D, MAKE the movie in 3D. It should be a filmmaker-driven process and not a studio-driven process.”

Of course, that’s nothing that me and everyone outside of the studio-exec-coke-party circuit hasn’t already been saying for months.  But Cameron has billions of dollars so he gets to do whatever he wants, like tell the truth, or have a lady’s hairstyle, and no one can say sh-t.  Sadly, he then had to go and ruin it by saying that he wants Kathryn Bigelow to win the Best Director Oscar — because he has too many already.

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(“Auuuggggh, it’s Katherine Heigl!  Let’s run back down this diagonal hill!”)

Avatar is ruining everything.  Didn’t I tell you Avatar was going to ruin everything?  No one ever listens to me. *kicks empty can*  Anyway, breathless, randomly bolded and italicized “news” site MarketSaw is reporting that a source tells them that a 3D version of Gremlins is in the works, and that the upcoming Ghostbusters sequel will also be in 3D.   Meanwhile, WB is debating making Clash of the Titans 3D, and must come to a decision in the next 10 days if they want to meet their planned release date.

I can only hope that Gremlins in 3D is as an immersive experience as Avatar was, and that the Avatards leave the theater depressed that they have to go back to living in a gray world without malevolent party lizards.  Coincidentally, I read in Daily Scientist that you should never feed an Avatard after midnight.  It aggravates their bacne.

Now that we’ve got the best out of the way, it’s time for the fun part: the worst.  Not surprisingly, this list is a lot longer.  It should come as no surprise that the big winner is Old Dogs.  Whether it’s the actual trailer, with Seth Green getting cradled by a gorilla, this clip of gratuitous nutshots, the tagline “Sit. Stay. Play Dad.”  or releasing a publicity still in which you can clearly see a crewmember’s reflection, the entire marketing campaign was essentially a hate crime.  Worse than a hate crime, really, because it hurt white people.

RUNNERS UP:

Clash of the Titans (watch it below).  It doesn’t hold a candle to Old Dogs for sheer cringeworthy terribleness, but it does nicely illustrate the idiotic mindset behind your average awful trailer.  Plot? Dialog? Story?  Screw that, yo, we’ll just cut together imcomprehensible action sequences and set it to guitar!
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UPDATE: Trailer removed at the behest of some douchebag lawyers.  I’m pretty sure posting a studio’s own advertisement for their movie so I can make fun of it falls clearly under fair use, but whatever, I’m not a lawyer.
The first Clash of the Titans trailer was sort of dumb and incomprehensible, a mashup of people stabbing each other and CGI bad guys set to heavy guitar, intercut with the ultimate we-assume-you’re-an-idiot-meathead tagline “TITANS. WILL. CLASH.”  Gee, thanks.  I’m insulted and I am an idiot meathead. Luckily they’ve corrected all that with this new trailer, which is… even more incomprehensible and meathead.  Here’s the official synopsis:

Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus (Worthington) is helpless to save his family from Hades (Fiennes), vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus (Neeson) and unleash hell on Earth. Leading a daring band of warriors, Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, he will only survive if he can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.

The tagline in this one is DAMN. THE. GODS., but this movie is so dumb that when I saw “DAMN” I half expected it to be “DAMN. THIS. LOOKS. HELLA SICK.” or “DAMN.  BROSEPH. EXPLOSIONS.”