Fernando Meirelles directed The Constant Gardener and one of my favorite movies, City of God. Miramax today released the teaser for his latest, Blindness. It’s about a virus turns everyone blind, and the trailer ends with the line:

The only thing more terrifying than blindness is being the only one who can see.

Yeah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree there.  I’d much rather be the one guy with sight.  You could go up to people and be like, "Hey, can you hold this for a second?"  and then put your dick in their hand.  We used to do that all the time with the blind kid at my elementary school.  I think he killed himself last year, but everyone agreed that the dick-in-the-hand thing was pretty funny. 

Watch the trailer for City of Men here

I got pretty excited when I saw the tag “From the producers of City of God…” on the City of Men trailer, since City of God’s one of my favorite movies.  But then I thought, “Wait, isn’t the producer just the person who pays for stuff?”

I mean, I spend most of my money on pornography and Handi-Snacks.  That doesn’t mean one has anything to do with the other.  …Or does it?  I guess it all depends on where you find the cheese stains.  Yeah, I just blew your mind, didn’t I.

(sigh)…Moving on:

In CITY OF MEN, producer Fernando Meirelles (The Constant Gardner) returns to the Brazilian favelas of his Academy Award-nominated film, City of God. Growing up in a culture dictated by violence and run by street gangs, teenagers Acerola (Douglas Silva) and Laranjinha (Darlan Cunha) have become close as brothers. With their eighteenth birthdays fast approaching, Laranjinha sets out to find the father he never met, while Acerola struggles to raise his own young son. But when they suddenly find themselves on opposite sides of a gang war, the lifelong friends are forced to confront a shocking secret from their shared past.

I can’t wait for the sequel set in Bakersfield: City of IHOPs.

Watch the Manda Bala trailer here 

According to Popular Mechanics, the top 5 causes of my boners are:

1. Stiff Breezes
2. Anne Hathaway (NWS)
3. The Elephant Throwing Scene in The Protector
4. Over-the-top, Hyper-Realistic Movie Violence
5. Anything That Reminds Me of City of God

This documentary about Sao Paulo obviously falls into the fifth category. Brazil just seems like an awesome place – gritty beach towns where everyone wears Hawaiian shirts and carries a gun, and goes to sexy parties with girls in bikinis with well-manicured pubic hair.  Much better than Bakersfield, anyway.  Man, that place sucks.   

UPDATE: Turns out people with limited English and Photoshop skills love Anne Hathaway as much as I do.