The one who calls himself Punchface Thunderdog (who previously made the George Washington vs. Zombies picture that you’ve probably seen on FilmDrunk a few times) made this photoshop out of the Brothers poster, and I liked it so much I put a ring on it. Look how much concentration is going on in this picture now. I’m wilting from the pensiveness. Don’t try this at home.
Ray Stevenson, Val Kilmer, and Christopher Walken have all signed on for The Irishman, based on the story of Danny Greene.
Greene was a violent Irish-American gangster who competed with the Italian mob in 1970s Cleveland and ended up provoking a countrywide turf war that crippled the Mafia. Stevenson will play Greene. Walken will play the loan shark and nightclub owner Shondor Birns, and Kilmer is cast as a Cleveland police detective who befriends Greene. Jonathan Hensleigh, who co-wrote and directed “The Punisher,” will direct the action film. He and Jeremy Walters (”Dali”) wrote the screenplay, which is inspired by the book “To Kill the Irishman: The War That Crippled the Mafia” by Rick Porrello. [Reuters]
Seems like every mob movie since The Departed has been about the Irish mob, and how they tricked the Italian mob, or killed someone in the Italian mob, or got drunker than the Italian mob, or were more Bawston than the Italian mob. And it’s all a big excuse for the 12th generation Irish douchebags in the audience to celebrate like a Boondock Saints marathon on St. Paddy’s Day. Please. The Irish are just jealous of our bigger penises and better jewelry.
In the past I know I’ve called Maxim nipple-free Playboy for stupid people, and I thought naming Sarah Jessica Parker ‘Unsexiest Woman Alive’ was pretty third grade (and that’s coming from me), but I’ve got to give it up to them for their article on the 15th anniversary of True Romance.
True Romance was Quentin Tarantino’s first script made into a film (and possibly his best), directed by Tony Scott, who sort of screwed up the whole thing with super tight 80s-style close-ups and the most mismatched musical score I’ve ever heard. Anyway, the Maxim article has interviews with all the major players. Sample:
Gary Oldman (Drexl Spivey, pimp): I hadn’t read the script, and knew nothing about it. Tony and I had tea at the Four Seasons and he said, “Look, I can’t really explain the plot. But Drexl’s a pimp who’s white but thinks he’s black.” That was all I needed to hear. I said, “I’ll do it.”
Scott: Gary called me out of the blue and said, “I’ve got it. I know exactly who this guy is: He’s my drug dealer.”
Oldman: My drug dealer? Tony would fucking get me arrested, wouldn’t he? I’ve never had a drug dealer! I organized Drexl’s dreadlocks under my own steam. Then I went to a dentist who made the teeth. Then I thought about giving him a weird eye. I’m only in the film for about 10 minutes—I wanted to make my mark. I heard this gang of black kids outside my trailer and thought, That’s Drexl. I showed this kid my lines and said, “Does this seem authentic?” He changed some words. He said, “That don’t fly. Drexl wouldn’t say ‘titties’; he’d say ‘breasteses.’ ”
Tarantino: Those kids were clowning him, and he believed them because he didn’t know any better. Because he’s British.
Anyway, great article, I highly recommend checking it out. But then, what do I know, I’m just a handsome racecar driver with nothing to lose.
