FilmDrunk’s 2010 Lifetime Achievement Award winner Christopher Mintz-Plasse and some guy named Scott Porter are the latest actors to hop on board the upcoming indie comedy The Hand Job, which is starting to look like a “Who’s Who” of people you would expect to see attached to an indie comedy. Variety reports that in addition to Vince’s best friend Chris and that Scott dude who probably doesn’t even read FilmDrunk, the Maggie Carey-directed film also stars:

Aubrey Plaza
Alia Shawkat
Mae Whitman
Connie Britton
Dominic Dierkes
D.C. Pierson
Donald Glover
Andy Samberg
Bill Hader

Plaza stars as a nerdy (read: hipster; see also: Juno) high school student who vows to lose her virginity before she heads off to college. And as I wrote that sentence, a million pairs of skinny jeans just got a little bit tighter. Glover will play a lifeguard, which is ironic and therefore a part of the standard indie formula, and Hader will play a stoner. I wish he would play Stefon. Sad Burnsy in a skinny tie.

Variety also reports that the roles of a “gorgeous older sister” and Plaza’s “intimidating father, a conservative judge” have yet to be filled. And I will save them some time and go ahead and scribble Zooey Deschanel’s name in the sister role, and for the dad… Alec Baldwin. Maybe Tim Robbins. Either way, it will be someone who is a famous liberal mocking the conservative role. That will totally show the system. Or not. Whatever.

USA! USA! USA! Four Loko-Fueled Black Friday brawl in the parking lot at Wal-Mart? Oh yes.  I can relate to the Four Loko and the brawling, but I think I’d rather be homeless than so desperate for a sale that I’d camp out in the rain at a Wal-Mart. [video here, but it doesn't come close to living up to the headline]

MORNING LINKS

• Sign up for the Uproxx Daily Breakdown. NOW. |UDB|

• Pictured: Buy a FilmDrunk Shirt today and you too can look like famous movie star and renown p*ssy burglar Chris Mintz-Plasse. |FilmDrunkShirts|

• Cartoon Movie Adaptations: A History. |Uproxx|

• A Thanksgiving edition of Corgi Friday. |WarmingGlow|

• Today’s Top Story: Woman Flashes Breasts To Rob Very Happy Victim |UproxxNews|

• Soothe your hangover with 1200 toy cars. |GammaSquad|

• G.O.O.D. Friday appearances that need to happen. |SmokingSection|

• Football would be better if it involved more helmet-off fistfights like this.  Okay, maybe not, but soccer definitely would. |NYCBarstoolSports|

• Here’s a chick tripping on some drugs at a public pool. |TheDailyWhat|

• Michael Jordan’s Mashed-Up Response to LeBron James’ ‘What Should I Do’ Nike Commercial. |BroBible|

• 20 Things You Think You Should Know About: Charlie Sheen |EgoTVOnline|

• What a surprise, Ke$ha’s clothes are as moronic and derivative as her music. |WWTDD|

• 25 hot chicks with snakes. |HolyTaco|

• Dwayne The Rock talks about Faster. |ScreenJunkies|

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Photo Credit: David Edwards- © 2010- DailyCeleb.com

The last time I posted a Kick-Ass-related music video, it was for alleged Brit pop star Mika, and the song was about as gay as Freddie Mercury giving a unicorn a handjob (with eye contact).  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  The latest is the quite-a-bit-more-rocking video for The Soft Pack’s “Answer to Yourself”, featuring Kick-Ass castmembers Clark Duke, Chloe Moretz in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit (no comment, as per court order), and my close, personal friend Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who sent this to me.  Okay, I lied, it was actually Burnsy who sent it, but probably only because CM-P was busy, right, guys?  Anyway, pretty cool overall.  I’m just a little upset that this guy stole my outfit.
Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have high hopes for Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass.  That would make two Nic Cage movies that I loved in as many years, so if it does happen, I hope I don’t start puking rainbows and lactating spiders.  Anyway, this is Christopher McLovin Mintz-Plasse as his alter ego, “Red Mist.”  Red Mist can’t read your mind, but he can kick your ass.  Red Mist is also the reason my dog growls at my girlfriend when she’s menstruating.  I make her sleep outside during that time now.  What?  It’s totally cool, I bought her a special dogloo for it.

[go over to AICN for the 6000-pixels-tall version of this, because a rational person would totally want that]

I’m not usually one to get excited about comic book movies because they usually suck, but Kick-Ass sounds, well, kick ass.  First of all, when Matt Vaughn wanted to make it his way — hyperviolent like the source — the studios passed.  So instead of letting them cut its balls off, he secured independent financing and made it himself.  Oh and hey, did I mention it also features Nic Cage doing an Adam West impression and stunts by this guy?  The trailer doesn’t give us much, but from what I know of the project it sounds like if Superbad, Kill Bill, and Nic Cage had a butt baby, and that’s one butt baby I’d give a quaalude and invite over for a photography session.

[hat tip, crotch grab to FilmSchoolRejects for the video]