An eBay user claiming to know the identity of British “street artist” Banksy had been auctioning off what he claimed to be Banksy’s real name.  The bidding started at $3,000 and eventually climbed to almost a million before eBay pulled it.  The seller later re-listed it, and it looks like it has since been pulled again.  Apparently, Banksy’s identity wasn’t considered “tangible enough” for eBay (unlike, say, my wang, which is considered extremely tangible — it even comes in a box!).

Given the artist’s penchant for pulling fast ones on the public [what is the evidence for this, by the way?  being secretive or provocative is not the same thing as deceit -Ed], the recently deleted EBay auction was widely suspected of being a prank, possibly by Banksy himself. Meanwhile, similar auctions claiming to have the identity of the artist have been popping up on EBay, though it remains unclear if the sellers are connected. [LATimes]

I named Banksy’s Exit Through the Gift Shop my favorite film of 2010, because whether he’d invented Mr. Brain Wash or not (he claims he didn’t), I thought it was a brilliant illustration of how art, entertainment, and marketing work.  Like the movie, many have speculated that Banksy himself was behind the auction, or that it was just a publicity stunt, or that it was a marketing ploy to get people thinking about Exit Through the Gift Shop during awards season.  Either way, no one has any idea, but everyone is free to spout their own bullsh*t theories, which makes it perfect conversation fodder down at the coffee shop.

Meanwhile, I’m planning my own documentary, Exit Through the Gif Shop, starring Christian Bale:

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I watched the West Coast feed of the Golden Globes last night and it seemed like something was getting bleeped every five minutes.  Most of it was inconsequential (Gervais saying “for God’s sake”, for example), but I did make a note to find out what Christian Bale said to Robert DeNiro that was bleeped while the telecast cut to commercial (yes, taking notes while watching the Golden Globes, that’s your glimpse into my sad, pathetic existence for the day).

Hollywood Reporter found out and boy, was it ever… well, sort of boring.

(As Bale was finishing up his speech, he blurted out De Niro’s name, swore and began talking again before the music swelled up and the show cut to commercial.)

“I just told him he’s the sh!t. You see an actor of that caliber and Robert Duvall… I don’t know if he’s here… those guys are the sh!t,” Bale joked to a room full of reporters backstage. “I just wanted to say I’m proud to be in the same room as him.”

In retrospect, I don’t know what I was expecting.  Something both vulgar and dangerous?  “Thanks very much to the HFPA, and before I go I just wanted to say that Helen Mirren’s AIDS p*ssy caused 9/11!”

Anyway, I’m sorry this turned out to be such a non-story, so here are some pictures of January Jones’ awesome dress.  That’s right, dress.  That’s exactly what I meant.

[via SocialiteLife]

There was really no reason to watch last night’s Golden Globes other than to see what Ricky Gervais was going to do, and the man did not disappoint. He was ballsy, but more importantly, he was funny. He began the night ripping on The Tourist and the Hollywood Foreign Press (the elephants in the room, let’s face it), and proceeded to actually be funny every time he was onstage, making reference to John Travolta being closeted (“‘I Love You Phillip Morris’ — two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay – which is the exact opposite of some famous Scientologists … probably.”) and introducing Bruce Willis as “Ashton Kutcher’s dad.”

Ricky Gervais did most of the obvious jokes (Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Etc.), but he executed them brilliantly. To host this kind of Hollywood circle jerk without coming off as a massive tool would be a feat; to actually be funny, entertaining, and honest was nothing short of a miracle. A gay, scientology miracle. (pic via DailyWhat)

Of course, there’s a reason people in Hollywood are famous for being thin-skinned pussies, and the reason is that Hollywood people are thin-skinned pussies. Actually, that’s not quite true. Most of the stars seemed to understand the way jokes work (especially Christian Bale). It seems to be the media that’s largely responsible for misinterpreting playful ball-busting for conflict (or deliberately stoking controversy). How say you, O Great Greek Twat Chorus?

WashingtonPost: “Are we at war with England? If not, then why have we been subjected to two years of Gervais hosting the Golden Globe Awards, witnessing a growing hostility between the British comedian and a resentful audience of celebs?” [This writer should be sentenced to 30 hours of Gervais-free Globe coverage]

NYTimes: “It’s so rare for presenters to be at open war with their host, and at times it almost looked as if Mr. Gervais and Mr. Bale were intent on bringing to Hollywood some of the incivility and extremism that veins political discourse. Theirs was certainly the most conspicuous wisp of conflict of the night, and that is unusual.” [Oh NY Times, you win the Golden Globe for Most New York Timesyest]. “Trashing the association that feeds you, on the other hand, is bad form, or bad politics.” [Not true. To not acknowledge that the HFPA is a joke would just be dishonest. Also, who gets fed by an association?]

LATimes: Headline: ‘Golden Globes: Host Ricky Gervais was just too nasty.’ The host pulled no punches, but he should have knocked himself out. [What does that even mean? Is this a Fighter review?] The opposite of dull and deferential is not snotty and abusive. [Likewise, the opposite of dull and uninformed is not humorless and c*nty.]

FoxNews: Ricky Gervais draws more gasps than grins at the Golden Globes. [But neither from me, because I had a big wiener in my mouth!]

BaltimoreSun: The normally clever-to-brilliant Ricky Gervais resorted to nonstop insult comedy as “the host” of the Golden Globes last night. He appeared to be auditioning for a dinner-theater version of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” His main game was “Get the Guest.”
When he wasn’t putting down easy targets like Charlie Sheen or joking about the vanity of “Sex and the City” stars and the age of Cher, his staggeringly lame fallback position was to list the lesser credits of A-listers like Bruce Willis.

You’re right, that was staggeringly lame! Maybe you should write his jokes next year, Mr. Guy-who-thinks-Who’s-Afraid-of-Virginia-Woolf-references are timely! Anyway, I’m done popping these queef balloons, it’s starting to stink in here. Here’s a list of the winners:

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There was a dark time there, between his on-set tirade (OHHH GOOD FOR YOUUU) and… well, pretty much now, where I wondered whether Christian Bale was the awesome actor we’d grown to know and masturbate to love, or just kind of a sullen d*ck.  He did an interview for this month’s Esquire, and boy, the love affair is back on.  Hard to say what’s more entertaining, the interviewer’s adversarial questions or Bale’s clever, thoughtful, self-aware answers.  And of course it goes without saying that the Fighter star is a total hunkcicle

ESQUIRE: But you were this singing, dancing, happy kid [in Newsies]. What happened to you?
BALE: I’m still singing and dancing and happy. I just don’t like musicals, that’s all.
ESQUIRE: Or romantic comedies, I hear.
BALE: I just don’t find them very romantic or funny much of the time.
ESQUIRE: What about Bringing Up Baby?
BALE: Is that a movie?

[...]

BALE: And Chris Farley was just phenomenal. Beverly Hills Ninja will always remain one of my tops.
ESQUIRE: Now you’re lying.
BALE: I have watched that movie. One time I sat down and watched it two nights in a row, and cried with laughter both times. The guy just was a phenomenon, and is missed dearly in my household.

[...]

Bale is in the habit of requesting that his media interviews be printed in a Q&A format. He also prefers to conduct them at the same five-star luxury hotel in Los Angeles, and makes it known that he dislikes personal questions.

BALE: You don’t like that?
ESQUIRE: No! I don’t like being told what to do.
BALE: I’ll tell you why. Basically, it’s somebody who got stuck having to interview me who really wants to be a novelist, so they’re writing these novellas and I was like, “It’s not true, that didn’t happen, they just made all that up! Why don’t they just go ahead and be a novelist instead of bothering with interviewing me?”

Q & A’s are more interesting anyway.  I’m with you, Christian.  Especially after reading some of this guy’s between-question banter:
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"POW!"

The Fighter, David O. Russell’s film about a couple a hahd workin, gritty fackin blue cawllah hahd ons from Southie starring Mahky Mahk and Christian Bale, opens in about 10 days, and Spike Jonze wants to make sure you see it.  Jonze and O. Russell are apparently buddies, and Jonze recently emailed SlashFilm hoping they’d post a Fighter trailer that Jonze thinks is better than the one that’s been going around.

I’M A BAWXAH, TAWMMY, GET THAT IN YO-AH HEAD!

Hey Peter -
Spike here. I’m writing on behalf of my friend David Russell [O., are you? -Wes Anderson], regarding his new movie The Fighter. Did you get a chance to see it yet? How insanely great is Christian Bale?

Can you do me a favor and post this 2 minute trailer called “Pressure” on your site? [attached after the jump]

The trailer that they put out originally makes the film feel a little generic and I just want to help David get the word out. I got to see it a few weeks ago, and I loved it, and if all you saw is the trailer that’s out, you might not know that it’s as interesting and strong as it is.

Thanks for your help!
Spike

Bottom line, I’m pretty bitter that another movie blogger gets personal emails from probably the most positive force in the movie business and I don’t. (I mean Eli Roth texts me d*ck pics from time to time, but I’m pretty sure he has the wrong number.)  What am I, chopped liver?  What, did you think, that I’d use that picture from the Marky Mark workout video for the article?  …Touché, Jonze, touché.

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