This new trailer for Grown Ups played before my Kick-Ass screening last night (review to come).  Starring Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Chris Rock, and Kevin James, from the visionary director of I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry and You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, it’s about a group of guys who were friends when they were kids who reunite 30 years later for a July 4th weekend with their families.  They try to show the youngins how to have real fun like they used to, but Kevin James is fat now so his pants fall down a lot and sometimes people fart.

While I was over on PerezHilton.com refreshing every five seconds waiting for some important insight on the human condition (I kid, I kid. Please, put down the truncheon), I found this awesome German beer commercial starring Mickey Rourke.  Disregarding the fact that the ad is for non-alcoholic beer, which, even if it tasted amazing is basically the beverage equivalent of a hot girl without a vagina, Mickey Rourke turns in another fine performance.  He plays a foul-mouthed, tiny-dog sporting version of himself who goes into a hotel bar, whereupon the bartender sneaks him a non-alcoholic beer, presumably to keep him from gettin’ sh*tfaced and tearin’ up the join like my uncle Sal.  Psst, hey, Germans, I don’t know if this reputation for trickery is a stereotype you want to perpetuate, you sneaky Jew-killers.

Bottom line, I will now begin every toast with, “Here’s to tiny dogs and the Goddamn revolution.” Whoa, did anyone else just envision a Che shirt with a Pomeranian in a beret? …Just me, then?

AFTER THE JUMP: The Tiger Woods “Slap Her With a Dick” Remix.

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Sony just released the above clip from Grown Ups, opening in June.  It stars Kevin James, Rob Schneider, and some other people, but who really cares about them when you’ve got Rob Schneider and Kevin James, am I right?  Anyway, it’s an interesting clip.   I think it must be performance art or something, like one of those clips of a bad sitcom with the laugh track removed, or Garfield Minus Garfield, or Old Dogs, but instead of record scratches and nutshots, guys blinking.  That Adam Sandler, always reinventing himself.

(I’m not going to caption it, I just love the sh*t out of this picture. -source)

DAILY CIRCLE J LINKS

• “A chimpanzee in overalls fondles a statue’s penis, then goes to the bakery to pick up a cake, but the pack of bulldogs he’s walking turn on him and chase him down the road before a bird of prey steals the chimpanzee’s cake.” |WarmingGlow|
• Check out the cover for Kevin Smith’s Green Lantern comic.  |GammaSquad|
• ATTENTION LA-AREA DRUNKARDS: My friend Joe King has a comedy show tonight at the Hollywood Improv.  You should go see him because he’s funny, and clinically insane in most states. |HollywoodImprov|
• Here’s the people who died in 2009.  They’re the people who died, died.  Aw crap, I just remembered Jim Carroll was one of them. |ScreenJunkies|
• The 25 best memes of 2009. |HolyTaco|
• The 10 most forgettable films of the aughts. |Pajiba|
• Greek tragedy performed by Dominos. |CollegeHumor|
• Incredibly impractical superhero costumes.  Look man, a codpiece is a commitment, sure, but it’s worth it. |ToplessRobot|
• Kobe’s new shoe is a whole ounce lighter than his last shoe.    |WithLeather|

Below, the first trailer for Death at a Funeral (2010). The original Death at a Funeral came out in 2007, and even though it’s only two years old and in English, they remade it with an American, mostly black cast (Peter Dinklage is in both versions — if not an Oscar, he deserves some kind of Most Valuable Dwarf award).  Wicker Man director Neil LaBute directs the remake.  Alan Tudyk‘s turn as a guy frying on hallucinogens the whole time is taken over by… James Marsden.  The only thing that could save this is lots and lots of Tracy Morgan.  Danny Glover pooping on his hand notwithstanding, it looks like he doesn’t have a huge part. The studio should cut that scene with the scene of J-Lo trying to keep semen from spilling out of her vadge, and then film the audience puking and use that as the promo, Paranormal Activity style.

Hey, did Chris Rock just utter the phrase “bromantically involved?”  Is that because they were both guys or because they’re black?  From the style guide:  Bros = white guys with arm band tats.  Brothers = black dudes.
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