Ron Perlman is, to put it charitably, not the handsomest man in the world. He has what doctor’s refer to as a bad case of the monkey face, which may be partly why you normally see him all covered up with makeup and masks and prosthetics in roles like Hellboy or the Beast from the TV version of Beauty and the Beast (remember that show? it was weird). By the way, can we start getting Cam Gigandet some mask roles yet? Anyway, Perlman plays “Phyllis” in 3,2,1… Frankie Go Boom, and I may have to take a good long rape shower after watching the trailer. A scream into a pillow, a puke in the sink, a good long shower – the full Crying Game. Only worse, because at least that dude was hot.
Oh, and side note, you know what’s a great way to keep people from seeing your movie? Give it an obnoxious title that makes me feel like a three-year-old if I say it out loud. “Hey, you bros want to see this new movie? It’s really great, it’s called ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy Pee Pee Fufu.’”