Ron Perlman is, to put it charitably, not the handsomest man in the world. He has what doctor’s refer to as a bad case of the monkey face, which may be partly why you normally see him all covered up with makeup and masks and prosthetics in roles like Hellboy or the Beast from the TV version of Beauty and the Beast (remember that show? it was weird). By the way, can we start getting Cam Gigandet some mask roles yet? Anyway, Perlman plays “Phyllis” in 3,2,1… Frankie Go Boom, and I may have to take a good long rape shower after watching the trailer. A scream into a pillow, a puke in the sink, a good long shower – the full Crying Game. Only worse, because at least that dude was hot.

Oh, and side note, you know what’s a great way to keep people from seeing your movie? Give it an obnoxious title that makes me feel like a three-year-old if I say it out loud. “Hey, you bros want to see this new movie? It’s really great, it’s called ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy Pee Pee Fufu.’”

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"On my count, El Tigre Magnifico!"

A lot has been made over Michael Bay’s announcement that his reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film franchise would feature our favorite pizza-eating reptiles as aliens from another universe, instead mutants exposed to radioactive green ooze. Fans of the franchise – myself included – were all like, “WTF Bay? What did we do to deserve this?” And of course Bay responded, “Chill bro daddies, it’s all good in the gated neighborhood.”

Now Bay has received some support from an unlikely party – TMNT comic book co-creator Peter Laird.

In a post, Laird encouraged fans to “swallow the ‘chill pill’ Mr. Bay recently suggested they take, and wait and see what might come out of this seemingly ill-conceived plan.”

“It’s possible that with enough truly creative brainpower applied to this idea, it might actually work,” he continued. “I’m not saying it’s probable, or even somewhat likely… but it IS possible. However, as I have pondered this further, I have realized that in one way it IS truly a genius notion.” (Via Entertainment Weekly)

Just so we’re clear, Laird is saying that Bay’s decision to change the origins of Leonardo and Co. from mutants to aliens is genius. I mean, if that’s genius, then changing them from turtles to tortoises must be f*cking MENSA-level sh*t.

Alas, not everyone is scrambling to Bay’s defense these days. Remember that whole firing Megan Fox from Transformers because she called Bay an asshole thing? Well, actor Chris O’Dowd sure does.

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*ahem* MEGAN FOX NAKED MEGAN FOX NAKED MEGAN FOX NAKED! …Sorry, I have to do that for Google search purposes. I hope you understand. Anyway, after the jump I’ve got the trailer for Friends with Kids, the unofficial Bridesmaids reunion starring Kristin Wiig, Jon Hamm, Chris O’Dowd, and Maya Rudolph, with Adam Scott, Megan Fox, Ed Burns, and Jennifer Westfeldt (who also wrote and directs) along for the ride. The plot? “We’ve replaced their ‘Benefits’ with ‘Kids.’ Let’s see if anyone notices!”

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