Today we have some brand new footage from Marvel’s Captain America: First Avenger, courtesy of Entertainment Tonight.  As this new clip illustrates, Captain America tells the quintessentially American story — boy grows up a spindly pussy, boy gets shot full of performance-enhancing drugs, boy becomes man, man kills Hitler.  It’s the American dream.  It personifies our own country’s journey, from upstart twink to jacked power top.  But even more so than the story, something about it seemed familiar…

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Jared from Landline TV just sent me this video and I’m posting it, because can you imagine an easier way to do this job?  The premise: Ignoring widespread outcry over the alleged tastelessness of their Chris Farley ad (after the jump), DirecTV has gone ahead and hired more dead celebrities, including Heath Ledger, John F. Kennedy, and Jesus.  Wait a second, I found a flaw in this parody.  To quote my favorite catchphrase that never really took off,   “Jesus is not dead, are you gay?”
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Chris Farley’s younger brothers Kevin and John are making a movie.

"Hollywood and Wine" [Ugh... -Ed.] is about a Hollywood chef and an aspiring actress who embark on a get-rich quick scheme that results in mistaken identify and a run-in with the mob.
Actors Kevin and John Farley, and John’s wife Jennifer Farley, collaborated with scribe Matt Berman on "Wine." Kevin Farley is co-directing the independently financed project with Berman.
Several former "SNL" cast members will appear alongside the brothers in the comedy, including Chris Kattan, David Spade, Norm MacDonald, Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell. [AP]

I was a bigger Chris Farley fan than just about anyone, but I’ve compiled a list of reasons why this might not be such a good idea:

Jim Belushi
Frank Stallone
Stephen Baldwin
Daniel Baldwin
Billy Baldwin
Ron Gallagher
Jeb Bush
Casey Affleck
Jake Busey
Mookie Hartman
Chet Van Damme

Okay so I made those last two up but you get the picture.