^{Hehe, “flaming”.}

Opening this weekend

Eagle Eye – Well, we already know what everyone thinks about this one.  Still, I hope it doesn’t flop too badly, if only for the sake of monkey army morale.

Choke - Sam Rockwell? Chuck Palahniuk? Sex addiction? Historical interpreting?  Yes, please.  Polite suggestion: needs more tigers.

Miracle at St. Anna - You know how back in WWII, white motherf-ckers be all savin’ Italians like this?  But then a brother comes along and he’s all like…

Nights in Rodanthe - Mmm, old people love scenes, my favorite.  Her puffy vag, his old… balls, lovingly lit, accompanied by lilting string music.  Seriously, where do I sign up?

Fireproof – He proved the existence of God with a banana, just imagine what he can do to your marriage with a firehose.  Wait, that came out wrong…

More clips are out for the adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke.  I have two different sources: Collider‘s clips are higher quality, but imeem‘s are all on one page.  Choose wisely.

The newest clips introduce Anjelica Huston’s character, playing the dysfunctional mother of Sam Rockwell’s character.  She’s especially good in the Look There’s My Show clip.  I still can’t decide if Anjelica is a hot GILF or is trying to lure me into a gingerbread house.

MTV recently released this new clip from Choke, based on the Chuck Palahniuk novel. In it, the creepily-named Victor Mancini (played by Sam Rockwell) argues with his boss, played by Clark Gregg (who also directed the movie). They work at some sort of colonial village as historical interpreters. MTV‘s headline for the clip? “Sam Rockwell Gets Medieval in Choke.”

Ahh yes, Medieval times. When colonists fought with Indians, Columbus discovered the cotton gin, and fashionable dinosaurs fought duels in tri-corner hats. Good work, MTV. Hey, when’s that Jonas Brothers movie coming out? I f*cking love those little queers.

IGN just premiered the UK poster for Choke, starring Sam Rockwell, based on the book by Chuck Palahniuk.  The new Choke poster’s very much like the old Choke poster, the main difference being that the new one has panties.  Oddly enough, the panties-halfway-down version seems way dirtier than the completely naked version.  Maybe because I’m imagining that they’re moist.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, all of a sudden I really want to bone a black chick.

Choke (awesome red-band trailer here), Chuck Palahniuk’s first book to become a feature film since Fight Club, opens in September.   In the clip after the jump, Palahniuk discusses his inspiration for the novel – something about wearing a suit and taking a nap in front of your car. The gist of it is that he’ll go to extreme measures in order to be held by a man in uniform, but only if he can do so without getting his clothes dirty.  Between that story and the movie being named Choke – let’s face it, at this point a gay joke would just be redundant.