Trailer for the ‘Carrie’ remake: Chloe Moretz is a weird loner, okay, sure

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.08.13

“HAHA, hey, everyone, get a load of this lame ass loser, with her pillow-soft lips and perfect bone structure!”

Carrie is a Stephen King story about the weird girl in school who gets teased and tormented mercilessly until her period unleashes the telekinetic power within, basically your typical uterine-sloughings-as-mind-bullets narrative. I sort of question the timing of remaking a bullied-kid-gets-revenge story, but then maybe revenge of the bullied is just one of those cathartic tropes that humans will always be attracted to. In any case, the 2013 remake of the 1976 film based on the 1974 novel, directed by Kimberly Pierce (Stop Loss, Boys Don’t Cry), is one of those hilarious examples of Hollywood Ugly, with Chloe Moretz playing Carrie and Julianne Moore as her weird mom. Ew, oh my God, they’ve got… braids, and they’re wearing… shawls! Haha, gross! Aren’t they just hideous??

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‘Game On C*cksuckers’: It’s The Red Band Trailer For Kick-Ass 2

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.13.13

Kick-Ass 2 will hit theaters on August 16, and that is not soon enough. It should be today. F*ck that, it should be yesterday. It should be every day until my eyes and brain hold an intervention for me to get me to stop watching it, because based on the red band trailer that hit the cat tubes today, this movie is going to be incredible.

Check out the trailer after the jump, as our best friend in the whole wide world, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, becomes the evil supervillain The Motherf*cker. Also, Jim Carrey. Jesus. Someone get his Academy Award ready. Seriously, if you don’t laugh at “Yeah, there’s a dog on your balls”, well, I’m afraid you might be dead.

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Carrie Remake Trailer: Chloe Moretz goes to blood prom

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.16.12

After the first few images leaked yesterday, today we have the teaser trailer for the remake of Stephen King’s Carrie, directed by Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don’t Cry) and starring Chloë Moretz. GRR, UMLAUTS!

A re-imagining of the classic horror tale about Carrie White (Chloë Grace Moretz), a shy girl outcast by her peers and sheltered by her deeply religious mother (Julianne Moore), who unleashes telekinetic terror on her small town after being pushed too far at her senior prom.

But what’s Chloë Moretz doing at a senior prom, she’s only 15! How much of an outcast could she really be if seniors are taking her to their prom? I didn’t go to a prom when I was 15, you didn’t see me covering people with pig’s blood. Of course, my only real power back then was magically getting nacho cheese stains on my shirt every break, so perhaps it’s an unfair comparison.

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Hey Everyone, It’s Chloe Moretz As Carrie

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.15.12

New York Comic-Con took place over the weekend, and you can check out the most important stuff (read: awesome costumes) over at Gamma Squad, but there’s considerable buzz today over the details that were announced regarding the remake of the 1976 horror classic Carrie. Directed by Kimberly Peirce, who is the female Brian De Palma, according to something I just made up now, the remake stars Julianne Moore and Chloe Moretz and they were both on hand to answer questions and reveal the film’s first teaser.

As is common for teasers and trailers revealed at Comic-Con, this one is nowhere to be found online, which means sneaky people with camera phones are slacking. Fortunately, plenty of other websites wrote 700-word detailed descriptions of the teaser, but we’ll go with Entertainment Weekly’s because it’s the shortest.

The NYCC crowd got an exclusive first look at Carrie‘s teaser trailer, which begins with a helicopter shot showing the school gym on fire, but then shows a trail of destruction leading throughout Carrie‘s small town…ending with a close-up on a blood-covered Moretz. The teaser features a cacophony of voices talking about Carrie — including the memorable line “She wasn’t some monster. She was just a girl.” — implying, perhaps, that the remake would adhere close to the structure of King’s original novel, which was written in a pseudo-epistolary style. (Brian De Palma’s original Carrie film in the late ’70s jettisoned that structure in favor of a more straightforward linear narrative.)

The film’s stars also revealed that the plot will focus heavily on social media bullying, which is a little, um, awkward in light of recent events.

But EW also revealed an exclusive photo from the set and another image was released this weekend, and even Entertainment Tonight will have exclusive footage from the set this week. So if you’re overly excited about this film, you need to go outside.

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It’s The 2012 FilmDrunk Summer Movie Guide!

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.30.12

"Chill, babe. I gots this."

With Rotten Tomatoes scores currently throbbing at 97% (critics) and 98% (audience expectations), Marvel’s The Avengers is the perfect film to kick off the summer movie season this Friday. Sure, some people might argue that the summer movie season actually begins with Miley Cyrus’ LOL – also being released this Friday – but those people need to go back to singing “Achy Breaky Heart” at my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah, dammit.

Beyond The Avengers are some films that actually have us pretty excited about Hollywood’s collective IQ for once – but don’t you worry, there’s also plenty of crap coming out, too. Fortunately, this isn’t the end of the year, so I don’t have to focus on the crap just yet – I will still eventually see LOL because Vince loves watching my soul cripple – and we’re just examining the films that have the greatest potential to crash the box office this season, and put smiles back on the faces of the billionaires who only made hundreds of millions in 2011.

I’ve even taken the liberty of breaking the summer movies up into categories for your convenience (chronological list on the last page), and I am being assisted in presenting this guide by none other than Michael Bay’s pet tiger, Todd Brad.

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