Many of you have been asking the results of our Comments of the Year voting, and I meant to announce them sooner, it’s just that the new batch of shirts that I ordered were supposed to be here a few days ago, and they still aren’t here. I was hoping to have physical shirts here for the winners, but oh well, I guess the graphic will have to do. The new batch is two-color print, much like you see above, and in addition to our normal Kelly green, we’ll also have some on a red shirt. I’ll update you guys on where you can buy them as soon as I get the actual shirts.

In the meantime, as I said before, the Comments of the Year winner is receiving a $50 dollar gift card to Amazon, and the next five are getting shirts. To everyone’s credit, almost every comment got at least one vote, and pretty much all of them would’ve been deserving. But fine, I’ll quit padding your egos and tell you who got the most votes….

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Remember Things? The Canadian horror flick from 1989? Well it’s on sale now, and to promote it, they’ve given me a few copies to give away. VHS or DVD, pick your poison.  I’ll give two for my favorite two comments of the week, and one for the first person who emails me. And if you’re an attractive young girl and want to send a revealing picture of yourself, so much the better, but hey, don’t let me put ideas in your head, I’m just a humble website writer, a firm but gentle lover.

Anyhoo, CRANK IT UP, F*CKERS! LET’S GET THIS COMMENTS OF THE WEEK PARTY STARTED! (*dunks cat into glitter, snorts puff paint*) Your winner, yet again, is ChinoMoreno. I don’t want to go back and count how many of these she’s won now this year, but it’s a lot. And between her this week and Michelle07‘s DJ Skittlecoot last week, that’s two in a row for the ladies. Time to step it up, bros. Here’s a sampling of Chino’s work from this week:

From The Steve Buscemi Dress:

ChinoMoreno says: Yeah, that’s just what I need. One more pair of men’s eyeballs on my rack.

ChinoMoreno says: There should be The Shining panties to cover your axe wound.

ChinoMoreno says: I’ll take the Ryan Dunn PJ’s to wear when it’s time to crash after a night of heavy drinking.

From Ramon from Bang Bus caught with a dead goat in a plastic bag in his van:

ChinoMoreno says: Hey, it’s Florida. It’s perfectly okay to have a dead kid in a plastic bag in your car.

I’m just saying, not many ladies can make jokes about her own boobs AND effortlessly weave in Ryan Dunn and Casey Anthony references. Bravo, Chino. Send me your address.

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With the holiday enshortened week last week, I didn’t get a chance to publish a Comments of the Week.  But now I’m back, working on a Sunday night, for your FilmDrinking pleasure, and I’ve got three Bach from the Dead posters to give away for the winners.  So here are your top three (and if this includes you, remember to send me your address):

From Looks like that hansome A-hole Bradley Cooper can also speak French:

ChinoMoreno says: I want to see his oui oui.

From Channing Tatum is in an amnesia movie:

kellyman says: Ready? “50 first Tates” Lean into that!

From Waiting Game is the abstinence comedy of the year:

DavidNowacki says: Why is the dog sitting like that? I’m not Christian, is part of it beating off dogs?

That last one might not have been the most clever, but what can I say, the visual I got of a priest solemnly beating off a dog in front of his congregation really dug a brain burrow.   Honorable mentions after the jump:

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Happy Monday, everyone.  Jeez, anyone else super hungover?  Okay, okay, I know this isn’t my personal nausea blog, enough with the small talk and let’s try to get through this without vomiting.  It’s been a long time coming (unlike me!), but I think Drunkette Chino Moreno more than locked up top commenter this week:

[From Tarantino wants Will Smith for his slave western] Chino Moreno says: Will we get to see him get whipped back and forth?

Chino Moreno says: He whistled for a boat and when it came near, the license plate said Amistad and he picked cotton for a year.

[From Will Smith has a ridiculous trailer (which for some reason turned into a "Will Smith is so white..." thread)] Chino Moreno says: Will Smith is so white, he yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes, thanks for picking me up at any time during the day or night!’”

[From Emily Browning plays a comatose prostitute again] Chino Moreno says: Lame. I don’t need drugs to just lay there during sex.

[From Brad Pitt will teach your child to box] Chino Moreno says: I’d like to teach Brad Pitt a thing or two… (*points to box*)

Ladies don’t need to refer to their box to make me laugh, but it helps.  Honorable mentions after the jump.

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Yay, gang, Vince is back!  …See, that was my attempt at making you grateful for my return, leading by example.  Hopefully Burnsy and Chareth didn’t do so good a job over the weekend that you’ve already forgotten about me, like I did with Whatshisface after my mom married that pilot.   Anyway, collectively, FilmDrunk Nation destroyed it last week, to the point that it was impossible for me to choose a single comment as the best of the week.  You guys have become like a well-oiled machine of dick jokes and wordplay. …And I like that.

These were my top four.

From Simon Pegg’s 1995 stand-up comedy clip:

galwaygirl says: There’s so much British in that clip that my pack of smokes just started butt f*cking each other.

From Nic Cage sadly not dressed like a bear during latest domestic violence incident:

Glowworm says: Alcoholism is a slippery slope; so is his wife.

From Bryan Singer explains that Superman Returns was actually a Jesus metaphor:

Chareth Cutestory says: Because who better to embody the metaphor of a spindly Jewish pacifist than a square-jawed ripped Aryan who’s always punching people into the sun?

From Yo-Yo Ma performs with L.A. dancer Lil Buck:

ChinoMoreno says: Black and yellow, black and yellow…

(*slow clap*) The FilmDrunk Comments Section: Come for the vague racism, stay for the top-notch wordplay.  Also, I’ve discovered that Yo-Yo Ma’s first name is officially hyphenated.  Do you think that was something his parents intended, or simply a consequence of proper punctuation?  Discuss.

HONORABLE MENTION:

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