You know we’ve come a long way when the formerly Maoist regime of China is not only allowing their citizens to watch films from the greedy imperialist west, but they’re cutting said films in order to add more consumer advertising. I guess this is what winning the Cold War looks like. USA! USA! USA… I always knew that if I just cracked enough Coors Lights, those dowdy artillery plant workers would shed their grey coveralls for a bikini pool party. (*air guitar*)
HONG KONG – As the houselights dimmed in cinemas across mainland China at around midnight on Tuesday, audiences attending the first wave of public screenings of Iron Man 3 fell silent with apprehension as a question appeared on screen: “What does Iron Man rely on to revitalize his energy?”
After a three-second blackout, three big Chinese characters appeared onscreen: “Gu Li Duo.”
The Marvel fanboys shouldn’t bother to rummage through their libraries to solve this riddle, because Gu Li Duo isn’t a a mystical power source in the original comic series — it’s a milk drink which is on sale for less than $1 a carton in convenience stores across mainland China.
Phew, I was worried the answer was going to be ground up rhino horn, or endangered tiger penis.