I still haven’t seen Precious — I’m worried it might hit a little too close to home for me, because back in high school, I had AIDs and two babies and couldn’t read — but reportedly, Mo’Nique gives a powerful performance informed by some of her difficult real-life experiences.  Today, her brother came forward to apologize for molesting her when they were kids. He apologized on Oprah, probably to keep from having to buy one of those “I’m sorry I molested you” Hallmark cards with the sad puppy on the outside.

Gerald Imes told Oprah Winfrey in an appearance on her TV talk show that the abuse began when Mo’Nique was about 7 years old and he was 13, but that he had denied it for decades.

“I’m here today to first acknowledge what I’ve been in denial for 37 years, and that is I did assault and inappropriately touch my sister in manners that were uncomfortable for her,” Imes said. “And for that, I apologize and I’m humbly sorry that those actions had taken place.”

Imes said the fact that he was fuel for Mo’Nique’s performance makes him feel like “a piece of crap.”
He said he has an especially hard time watching the last scene in the movie, in which Mary explains that the reason she hates her daughter is that Precious’ father chose her over Mary.

“That scene was Mo’Nique going to my mother saying, ‘My brother did this to me,’ and my mother asking me, did I do this, and I said no. I saw her pain and my pain right then and there,” Imes said.

Mo’Nique, who has not seen her brother for more than 10 years, declined to appear on the show.  [Yahoo]

Imes’ revelations became all the more shocking when he revealed that he wasn’t even a Catholic priest.  ZING!  …What?  Oh right, I’m not supposed to joke about child molestation and all that.  Jeez, who knew a heart-to-heart interview with a child molester was going to make things all awkward in here.

Nothing against Tyler Perry or his movies, I’m just not one for heavy-handed preaching or folksy, homespun wisdom.  But hey, to each his own, different strokes, that’s why towns have so many different strip clubs, etc.  Anyway, Perry was the subject of a 60 Minutes profile last night in which Byron Pitts (great name, btw) repeatedly says, “Most Americans probably don’t even know your name.”  Is this true?  It wouldn’t be fair to someone so successful. Even if he creepily overenunciates everything and the clips they show do nothing to make me want to see one of his movies.

The whole segment is below. Above is the part where Perry discusses his molefestation as a child.  He doesn’t say what age he was, but says when he was young, the mother of one of his friends locked him in the house and wouldn’t let him leave until he had sex with her.  It seems like under different circumstances it’d make a pretty sexy letter to Penthouse forum, but he chooses to go a different direction.  He also hints at being molested by a man but declines to discuss it.  It’s all pretty serious, and pretty hard to write a joke about.  See, Tyler Perry?  This is why we never hang out anymore.  You’re a real buzzkill, dude.

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(“SERIOUSLY, I DON’T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY.”)

Just over a week ago, French Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand said of Roman Polanski’s arrest, “In the same way that there is a generous America that we like, there is also a scary America that has just shown its face.”  As it turns out, Mitterand would probably have preferred America show the face of a young Thai boy, so that he might rape it.  I call this story “Dude, you’re not helping,” part 2:

The revelations in his 2005 autobiography “The Bad Life” have come back to haunt Mr Mitterrand. In his book, Mr Mitterrand, the nephew of the late Socialist president François Mitterrand, wrote [of his holiday in Thailand]: “I got into the habit of paying for boys…All these rituals of the market for youths, the slave market excite me enormously. One could judge this abominable spectacle from a moral standpoint but it pleases me beyond the reasonable.” [As opposed to reasonable excitement about the slave market...]
[...]
“The profusion of very attractive and immediately available young boys puts me in a state of desire that I no longer need to hinder nor hide…as I know that I will not be refused.” [Telegraph]

That’s right, in France, you can have a government position even after publicly declaring your love of young Thai boys.  It truly is the land of opportunity.  Also, HE STILL HAS A JOB:

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[Editor's note: the headline is meant to be read in the voice of the movie voice guy.] 

Hounddog has been picked up by a distributor and will be released in 500 theaters on July 18th. The movie originally sparked controversy because the story involves the main character, played by 12-year-old Dakota Fanning, being raped.

Because of the outcry over Hounddog, North Carolina State Senator and majority leader Phil Berger called for all future films made in North Carolina to have their scripts approved in advance if they are to get the normal production subsidy from the state. Berger says that he had not seen the film but was acting in response to what he read about it. 

Damn, just when I thought we were more civilized than the Afghanis.  Then again, I suppose threatening to cut off funding is still better than, say, threatening to cut off Dakota Fanning’s head.  America – FUCK YEAH! 

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) applauded the film, and during the [Sundance Film] festival [where it premiered] delivered the statistic that in the time it took the audience to watch the film, eight children under the age of 12 were sexually assaulted. 

Gee, thanks no fun police, that statistic was both constructive and uplifting.  Did you also know that in the time it took you to read this post, 104 infants were raped to death in Africa and three Nic Cage movies were greenlit?  It’s true – you can read all about it in my new book Why Bother? 1001 Reasons to Kill Yourself. 

[Thanks to 'RoboPanda' for the tip]