Count me among the many that initially thought Michael Bay was full of explosive diarrhea when he boasted that Mark Wahlberg would star in Transformers 4: Rise of the New Toy Sales, but I’ll give credit where credit is due. Bay is a classic salesman who could make a polar bear buy ice cubes, or in this case, make a millionaire accept millions of dollars. Ass slaps and towel snaps aside, Bay has a brand new cast to finish filling out, and it’s time to fill the bucket and scrub under the wheel wells.
The plot of Transformers 4, aside from being about rich corporations that want your children to demand toys, will focus on Wahlberg and his daughter, as well as her racecar driver boyfriend. For the sake of Bay’s credibility and consistency, let’s just assume that Wahlberg plays a Special Ops soldier who moonlights as a monster truck driver.
So which lovely young ladies are going to get the call to lay a little Turtle Wax on Bay’s Italia Spider?