Not the master of being considerate enough to shut the screen door and keep the bugs out, I guess.

Not a lot is going on this week with major Hollywood DVD releases, but at least what little there is includes The Master. There’s also the latest Twilight flick, but it doesn’t come out until Saturday, so come back in four days and see that I’m still not covering it. Not to worry, though; as always there’s enough obscure indie, low-budget and foreign fare to discuss.  Besides The Master, we’ll cover flicks with Gerard Butler, Sharon Stone, and Christian Slater.  We’ve got flicks about surfers and AIDS and elephants and zombies, and even another elephant. Trust me, this other one is luckier than the rest.  There’s a company of heroes and some fast girls.  We’ve even got a zombie massacre!

The DVDs:
The Master
Chasing Mavericks
How To Survive A Plague
Holy Motors
Border Run
Company Of Heroes
Freaky Deaky
The Loneliest Planet
Darnell Dawkins: Mouth Guitar Legend
The Eyes Of Thailand
500 MPH Storm
Fast Girls
My Lucky Elephant
Silent Souls
Total Retribution
Zombie Massacre: Army Of The Dead

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

The description for one of these movies includes the phrase ‘Reptilian Sex God!‘ You’ll have to continue reading to find out which one it is.  There’s also a movie with both Andy Dick and Crispin Glover. If you want to know which flick that is, you know what to do, continue reading.  If you’ve already seen The Master and are pretty sure everything else is crap, feel free to click the link above and skip right to this week’s streaming suggestions.  You’ll miss out on some graphic video of elephants having sex, but that’s your choice to make, I guess. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the trailer for Chasing Mavericks, starring Gerard Butler as an old salty surfer dude teaching his young padawan how to surf the mythical waves of Mavericks, a big-wave surf spot in Half Moon Bay that people didn’t really know about until the early nineties. Butler almost drowned shooting the movie, and must have balls like cinder blocks because I’d piss my pants just looking at a Mavericks wave, let alone getting in the water and actually trying to ride one. The other surfers would probably complain about all the crying. (Then again, there’s supposedly a smaller, inside break at Mavericks, which I hope was the one Butler was trying to surf).

Aaaaaanyway. The movie. You know how sometimes a movie’s dialog will sound more like the screenwriter pitching the movie than supposedly real people talking to each other? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

“Have you ever felt like you were meant for something more?”

“That wave is a myth!”

“This is gonna change everything. -What if you’re wrong? -What if I’m right?”

“There are all kinds of sons, Rusty. Some are born to you. Some just occur to you.”

“This is about more than just surfing. It’s about finding that one thing in life that sets you free.”

Right, because when I think surfers, I think very verbose, I think articulate speakers, coherent, adept at metaphors… “It’s like I searched for the world’s biggest wave, and what I found was even bigger, you know? It’s like, maybe it wasn’t just the waves that were crashing around me, it was my life, you know?”