If you like giant robots punching each other, and that describes me as well as anything, then it looks like you’re going to love Guillermo Del Toro’s Pacific Rim. It appears to have all the giant robot action of Transformers, with the added benefit of the story not centering around the most obnoxious family on Earth. USA Today just posted eight new stills, and AICN broke the news that the film had a special screening last night in Burbank. Hollywood is nothing if not a town built on ass kissing, and people who would skip the Super Bowl for an advanced screening are probably the type who might geek out over a movie more than others, but word seems to be positive. Though that word is mostly being collated by the studio itself, of course. At the very least, Looper director Rian Johnson liked it.

Go into Pacific Rim prepared to be transmogrified into a 12 year old. And then to pee your pants with joy. I love it so much.

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) February 2, 2013

Ooh, ‘transmogrified,’ well la di da, Professor Wordlington. Anyway, my big takeaway here is that there are some robot jox who fight Godzilla, and one of the robots looks like the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Here’s to hoping that at some point he falls to the ground complaining of a flesh wound with a stump limb the size of the Chrysler building. My God, did I just type all of that? I get nerdier just being near this movie, like nerd osmosis.

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I’ve mostly been bored with Guillermo Del Toro’s post-Pan’s Labyrinth output, and the guy makes like 12 movies a year so it can be hard to keep up (he has EIGHTEEN in development credits on IMDB)… BUT, having seen this latest trailer for Pacific Rim… well, I’m listening. I’d sort of tuned out all the viral marketing crap for it (because viral marketing always feels like two ad guys jerking each other off), but things might have been different if they’d simply told me it was about ROBOT JOX FIGHTING GODZILLA. (Man, who knew Robot Jox would go on to become so influential, huh?) It’s hard to impress people with scale anymore, now that we’ve all seen the Eiffel Tower get destroyed in six trillion Roland Emmerich trailers, but I must say, I was impressed by the scale of this one. Or maybe it was the robots fighting sea monsters that did it. You know what? I might be overthinking this. Opens July 12.

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Ron Perlman is, to put it charitably, not the handsomest man in the world. He has what doctor’s refer to as a bad case of the monkey face, which may be partly why you normally see him all covered up with makeup and masks and prosthetics in roles like Hellboy or the Beast from the TV version of Beauty and the Beast (remember that show? it was weird). By the way, can we start getting Cam Gigandet some mask roles yet? Anyway, Perlman plays “Phyllis” in 3,2,1… Frankie Go Boom, and I may have to take a good long rape shower after watching the trailer. A scream into a pillow, a puke in the sink, a good long shower – the full Crying Game. Only worse, because at least that dude was hot.

Oh, and side note, you know what’s a great way to keep people from seeing your movie? Give it an obnoxious title that makes me feel like a three-year-old if I say it out loud. “Hey, you bros want to see this new movie? It’s really great, it’s called ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy Pee Pee Fufu.’”

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