Says the Imgur caption: “I work in a restaurant. This is our Christopher Walk-In.” Yup, well done, internet. I think we’re done here. [Imgur]

MORNING LINKS
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: UPROXX Is Teaming Up With 5-Second Films To Create UPROXX Video |UPROXX|

A Mexican dude dressed like Wolverine saved people from a burning tower |Film Drunk|

That Lucy Van Pelt will get hers.
[via Fck Yeah Dementia]

10 Of ‘Archer’s’ Most Visually Distinctive Homages To Movies |Warming Glow|

Kobayashi Ate An Entire Domino’s Pizza In 60 Seconds Because YOLO |With Leather|

Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week |Gamma Squad|

Three 2013 Music Festivals That Don’t Suck Like Coachella |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL: Super Bowl XLVII Stuff |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Paper cuts of popular icons. Can you guess them all? |theChive|

The 30 Weirdest 1-900 Numbers From The ’80s |Buzzfeed|

10 Actors You Think Won For Something But Won For Something Else |Film.com|

Is This The Saddest Reddit Post Of All Time? |HuffPost Comedy|

Super Mario Busters |Clip Nation|

6 Crazy Things You Can Make with 3D Printers |Mental Floss|

Is This Herbal Tea Commercial Too Scary Or Just Scary Enough? |Videogum|

This awesome perpetual motion machine may not be perpetual but it’s awesome for sure |Fark|

The 15 Loveliest Lady-Lady Love Scenes in Movies |NextMovie|

9 Bumper Stickers for People Who Don’t Suck |College Humor|

Beyonce Doesn’t Want You To See This Picture |IDLYITW|

Woman of Steel Cosplay |Unreality|

Justin Bieber Cheated On Selena Gomez With Rihanna? This Kid? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
|The Superficial|

Let’s Give These 11 Washed-Up Feature Film Actors Their Own Television Series |Pajiba|

Calvin & Hobbes IRL Wallpapers |High Definite|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter.
FAN US on Facebook. SUBSCRIBE to the Frotcast.

Charlie Brown recounts a particularly harrowing encounter at football camp

After Heathcliff, Family Circus, and even Bazooka Joe were optioned for movies, a bad idea for a 3D Peanuts adaptation seems anti-climactic by comparison. But that’s what we’re getting, from Fox and the guys who did Ice Age. They’ve already made four Peanuts movies, the last in 1980, the only thing different about the new one is that it would be CGI.

Andy Serkis as Snoopy or GTFO.

20th Century Fox Animation and Ice Age makers Blue Sky Studios will turn Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Woodstock and the whole Peanuts gang into an animated feature film franchise. Fox has closed a deal for rights to turn the strip by the late Charles Schulz into a film that has already been set for release on November 25, 2015.
Fox Animation has set director Steve Martino, who co-directed the Fox/Blue Sky hit Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who! and Fox Animation’s latest blockbuster, Ice Age: Continental Drift.[Deadline]

As Badass Digest points out, the last Peanuts movie came out in 1980, and had the gang travel to Europe, where it broke all the rules by showing adults and having them speak in real words. I’ve heard rumor that Peanuts was once clever, socially relevant, and subversive, but since I’m younger than 70, it’s always been unfunny New Yorker cartoons for kids to me. Last I saw the gang, it was in a commercial for life insurance. And nothing says culturally-relevant content for kids like selling life insurance, right?? Anyway, I guess it did have two characters that were basically an openly lesbian couple, so maybe it was like Modern Family before its time.

In the 2015 Peanuts, when teachers and adults open their mouths to talk? Nothing but dub-step.

Artists Timothy Lim and Jean-Luc Pham recently created their idea of what a Frank Miller version of Charlie Brown might be like, “Schultz City: That Yellow-Shirted Such and Such.”  Hey, did anyone just get an idea for the Marmaduke movie?  Crap, I shouldn’t have said anything, should I…

Also: It’s unfair that only people who can draw get labeled “artist”.  I mean, look at me, I can hold a feather in my pee hole while I balance on this chair.  Ta da.

[more at DeviantArt, hat tip to Cinematical]