YOGI BEAR MOVIE GETS CAST

11.06.09 Written by Vince Mancini


(Picnic Bear is Yogi Bear’s cousin.  He doesn’t steal picnic baskets, he just waits patiently for someone to show up with one)

Anna Faris, Justin Timberlake, and Dan Aykroyd have joined the cast of WB’s CGI/live action Yogi Bear movie, to be directed by Journey to the Center of The Earth director Eric Brevig.

Faris will play a nature documentarian who follows the antics of a bear in fictional Jellystone Park. Aykroyd will voice Yogi, and Timberlake could end up lending his pipes for Yogi’s constant companion, Boo Boo. [THR]

I always sort of liked Yogi Bear.  I always sort of liked Anna Faris and Justin Timberlake and Dan Aykroyd too.  So why am I not excited for this?  Probably because when they CGI old cartoons and mix it with live action, it tends to look like this:

Does that appeal to anyone over the age of 10?  No.  Which means I’ll probably end up taking a date to this, but I won’t be happy about it.

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LOOKS LIKE AN ANIMATED MOVIE ALRIGHT

11.05.09 Written by Vince Mancini

I thought the first trailer for Universal’s CGI, 3D animated Despicable Me was interesting because it didn’t give away too much of the plot.  Then again, I forgot it almost as soon as I posted it so what do I know.  This is the second trailer, which seems to have a completely different plot than the first.  This one makes it seem like it’s about Steve Carell’s villain character, Gru (who apparently speaks with a Russian accent the whole time), and his rivalry with a better super villain; the last one seemed to be about Gru’s plan to steal the world’s monuments.  Then there’s the synopsis about Gru adopting some orphan girls.  But it’s all more or less irrelevant because there’s a nut shot in the trailer, and you know my rule about nut shots in the trailer.  Nut shots in the trailer are up there with the presence of Cam Gigandet when it comes to surefire predictors of a movie’s suckitude.

Also familiar with nut shots in a trailer?  Your mom.  (Because she lives in a trailer, you see.)

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What’s the best computer animated film for adults?

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AVATAR POSTER HAS CGI-BALLS

08.03.09 Written by Vince Mancini

After the tranny picture from earlier I can see how a person might’ve read this headline and thought I meant testicles, but I was actually just trying to combine the words “CGI” and “eyeballs.”  Haha, good story, Vince.  Anyway, this is the new poster for James Cameron’s Avatar, featuring Zoe Saldana and her CGI-embiggened eyeballs as Neytiri, a member of the Na’vi race of blue aliens.  See, the blue aliens catch the red aliens invading their turf, so they’re all like, “Hey, what do ju putos theenk you’re doin, ése?  Thees ees our planet, homes,” and then they have a big dance/knife fight.  I mean, I think that’s what happens.  I don’t really know, I didn’t go to Comic Con.  

Avatar opens December 18th and features a mix of 3D live-action and CGI that’s either “universe shattering” or “meh, it’s okay I guess” depending on whom you ask.

[via FilmSchoolRejects]

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GRR, STUFF BLOWING UP & BLACK PRESIDENTS!

06.18.09 Written by Vince Mancini

In the new trailer for 2012 (the world is ending, just like the Mayans predicted!  With asteroids!  …Uh, or floods!  Wait, no, fire!  Ooh! Ooh! And tidal waves!) director Roland Emmerich blows up:

  • The Capitol building
  • The Washington Monument
  • The Sistine Chapel
  • The USS John Kennedy
  • The… Lincoln Memorial?
  • That big Jesus statue in Brazil (Cristo Redentor?)
  • A Winnebago
  • The Eiffel Tower?
  • An entire train
  • Air Force One

I heard Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers watched this together and started making out halfway through.

SOMMERS: Ah wish ah could quit you.
BAY: (*explosion sound*)*

I also enjoy how every “event-sized” movie has to have a building explode onto the camera during the trailer. It’s like CGI bukkake.
Read the rest of this entry »

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THE SMURFS TO GET ALVIN’D

06.10.08 Written by Vince Mancini

You forgot your hands, jackass.

Sony obtained the rights to The Smurfs and are planning a live action/animated movie.  That’s one of those movies where actors who need money stand around pretending to interact with creepy CGI characters.  On the set, I imagine a naked PA painted green running around holding a stick with a picture of a smurf or a chipmunk or whatever on it, but I can neither confirm nor deny that that’s how they do it.

"Smurfs" marks SPA’s first hybrid film — a subgenre that proved popular given the success of 20th Century Fox’s "Alvin and the Chipmunks"…
"The Smurfs are one of the best-known franchises, and among the most beloved collection of characters in the world," Columbia co-president Doug Belgrad said. "We’re very excited to introduce a new generation to Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the other smurftastic Smurfs in all of their ‘three-apple-tall’ glory."

Well smurf me in the smurf, this sounds like a smurfing great idea.  I just hope these mothersmurfers don’t make another piece of smurf like Alvin and the Chipmunks. That smurf was creepy.  One of them ate smurf in the trailer!   

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