As I’ve been trying to tell anyone who will listen, Celebrity Rehab has Gary “I’ve got to give someone a buck knife” Busey this season, and he’s almost too good to be true.  The Soup got a hold of this clip, which I’d been trying to find.  At the beginning, Busey tells the snorting-coke-off-his-dog story that people can’t go a week without sending me even though it’s at least ten years old, but more importantly, at the 1:07 mark it gives us a glimpse of what Gary Busey carries in his briefcase: matches, chapstick, highlighters, and about $20 worth of spare change.  You know, important business stuff.

In the last episode, Dr. Drew diagnoses Busey as having damaged the “filtration system” that keeps him from acting on every impulse — brilliant analysis there, Poindexter — and puts him on a medication called Depakote.  So help me God, f-ckers, if you ruin Busey I will hunt you down.  Take away the batshit and what else is there? Batshit, do you even know what that stands for? Busey Always Touches Snake Hearts In Terabithia.

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]

O lord, thank you for thy bounty that is Busey.  The first episode of Season 2 of Celebrity Rehab was on last night, and forgive this slightly-non-movie-related tangent, but Gary Busey is on this season and Gary Busey craps unicorns in my heart.  He spent the entire episode saying and doing ridiculously insane Gary Busey shit, and seems to think he’s a counselor even though he’s a patient.  See him meet the director after the jump.

“I’ve been out of my body twice, and it’s a great thing to know the freedom of life.  You know the word freedom?  Do you know what that stands for?  F.R.E.E.D.O.M.  It stands for Face it, Real, Exciting, Energy, Developing, Outta, Miracles.”

And Jesus Christ on a crutch, did he just say he had to give someone a buck knife (at the 23 seconds remaining mark)?  Oh god that was good. I need a cigarette.
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